Crouching Dragon—The Tiger Lily Cut

More fun than that one time when I had this girl over and she challenged me to a corn eating contest. Well, to be honest, that was an awesome evening that I'll never forget and a one-of-a-kind thing that I still have mental images of, except watching this edit didn't end in me having to wash my bed sheets. No wait, I didn't wash them but put them up on ebay along with a burned DVD disc of what went on after all that corn and alcohol mixed up and we ended up in bed and I had the brilliant idea of turning that HD camera on. It netted me about $22 and for a minute there I thought of turning that into a business but then figured it was best to keep this a unique memory that I'll cherish forever.

This edit is exactly what I expected and hoped for from the genius and slightly demented mind of ssj! I watched this with a friend, and we absolutely pissed ourselves pretty much the whole way through. From literally the first subtitle we were in stitches, and with only brief pauses for breath, the next killer line would hit the screen.

It's a simple concept, but executed so brilliantly. Ssj's comic timing is spot on, and the perfect sincerity in the performances from the actors only adds to the comedy. I see the potential for a series here from ssj if he can be bothered, but regardless, this one is a comedy classic from the outset. So many great one liners.

Highly recommended! Technically it is spot on (I watched the HD version), and none of the cuts were noticeable. I did notice the dramatic change in volume during one fight scene, but ssj tells us this was in the original too. Curious.

I didn't expect this to be a replacement disk, but what do you know. I can't imagine going back to original when I know that the Tiger Lilly cut is on offer.

Well done ssj, I look forward to more of your wonderfully insane offerings in the future. 10/10

I quickly realized what I was in for with this edit after the first subtitle appears on the screen. It set the tone. This edit is flat out funny. Now that's no guarantee that everyone will like it. People have different senses of humor etc. But there are some genius moments in this edit. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions. Props to ssj for some clever "phonetic translations" of the spoken words in a few spots in the movie. And there were some great subtitles for some of the written stuff as well.

This edit is not simply a series on one liners either, not just a case of "hmmm let me make all the subtitles funny". That would have been too easy and would have resulted in a far inferior edit IMO. ssj weaves a coherent (and very entertaining) plot

So if it's been awhile since you've watched Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or your tired of seeing it in its theatrical form, I say to you:

Grab some goat cheese and boozemilk. Seat thy ass! And watch this edit.

ssj is a sick, sick man. And I love him for it.

Simply put, the freshest and funniest fanedit idea for quite a while. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was a perfect candidate to be drawn a clown nose on, at least for a fan of deadpan humor as myself, as it's a straight-face film that is thematically solid and strikingly beautiful to look at, yet at the same time quite pompous, and over the top as only a wuxia movie can be. With these elements, watching these characters so earnestly spout out the insanities ssj dared to write for them, and recite vulgarity with the same aplomb as it was Shakespeare, is a match made in laughter heaven. Best culinary ganja martial arts action comedy ever.

Video and audio are mostly fine all through, yet I noticed some image artifact/pixellation at moments of heavy movement (watched the HD version), and a couple of hard audio cuts: at 0:04:35 after "Nocturnal birdwatching. What a strange hobby!" and at 0:06:42, where it even seems to go to total silence for a split second. There might be more instances, but I was so inmersed in the whole experience that I even forgot to nitpick.

And now, ssj, I want MORE. I desperately want you to do that certain follow-up that shouldn't be spoken of for now. And for everyone: WATCH THIS EDIT. NOW. And laugh your asses off.