Crouching Dragon—The Tiger Lily Cut
Orcs and zombies now populate this movie. Why? Because the subtitles say so.
To Captain Khajiit for industrial-strength technical wisdom.
To Brumous, Gatos, geminigod, juice4z0, L8wrtr, Neglify, Q2, reave, Stankpac, theslime, ThrowgnCpr, and wabid for additional technical guidance.
To emphatic for translating this obscenity into Swedish.
To my family for putting up with this project.
To Ang Lee and the original cast and crew for playing it straight, by which they were clearly anticipating the release of this farcical version years later.
- NTSC DVD-5
Removed a whole lot of dialogue-intensive scenes, removed the marriage subplot, leaving the fight scenes intact between. . . a whole lot of talking.
Removed the characters for “tiger” and “hidden” from the title screen and added the modified English title in the same font as the original.
Several audio issues, including overly loud dialogue during a fight scene and brief audio/video asynchrony, exist in the original movie; these problems remain uncorrected.
Brilliant idea to use subtitles to create a new story. Yes, the story doesn't make fully sense, but it's just fascinating reading about monsters and necromancers... gives it a completely different atmosphere, and sometimes I laughed really hard, and it's not like ssj just inserted some funny lines, he tried to create a new story-line, kudos for that.
As to the videoquality, while it is HD, the small filesize reduces imho the quality.
When the original was released in 2000, it sent thousands of Asia film fanboys into a tailspin tizzy.
“This is going to ruin all our cherished Hong Kong and Japanese exploitation fun!”
Apologists for the film and peddlers of imports did their best to mollify all those nervous Nellies.
And yet - - the mainstream Western world got exposed to and excited by Asian action cinema.
Crouching Tiger made a shitload of money, and, as doomsayers predicted, future Asian fare became ever more tasteful. Easier for the world digestion. The wackiness was on the fade.
All hail ssj for doing his best to return this talky bi-polar film to the crazy roots of Shaw Brothers!
Video - MPEG-4, 960 X 400p. Now this is widescreen. Plenty of dark scenes in this, though I saw nothing amiss. There were quick edits, but one gets so caught up in the goings-on that you don’t pay attention.
Audio - 2 Channel stereo, AAC. 160 Kbps. Subtitles - Yes, some of the best! This reviewer does not understand Mandarin, so I did more reading than listening. The audio seems exactly as the original. Fine for dialogue. Actiony bits by Shanghai Percussion Ensemble terrific. Anytime Yo Yo Ma picks up his cello, naptime.
Narrative - Bit overdone, with references to orcs and goblins and other creep-sters. If creatures get mentioned, then I want to see them. The Iron Chef theme comes and goes worse than a studied accent. Often I had no idea what was going on, plot wise. Jokes not necessarily relatable to ongoing screen follies.
Enjoyment - This is a great antidote to the borefest that the original was. Energy level diminishes in the final act, and jokes start to fall flat. The story tumbles into a confused mess, but I laughed out loud often. ssj has provides several generous extras, as well. Info sheet, trailer, and extraordinary press conference with Michelle Yeoh. Brilliant. I only wish I had a time machine and could kick a copy of this back to 2000 era readers of Asian Cult Cinema.
Drugs, orcs, goblins and dragons oh my!
Super fun edit! I should have known, ssj is hilarious on the regular in the forums and his style of humor really shines through here. The jokes slow down a bit in the second half but it remains funny (and it's because of more great action scenes, so no harm, no foul). Some personal highlights for me are: part with a sword that's a second dick to you, Beijing's Top Chef, snorted brain magic, don't hurt my hair!, super similar really, the preciousss will summon skyrocks down on your ass, plump-ass rump, wrong movie, disturbing my bottom will only lead to sorrow and prepare me a dragon egg smoothie. The new story is pretty out there but funny, which is really all that matters.
Bonus: the subtitled interview is hilarious, as well!
A mind-bending re-imagining of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon through the use of rewritten subtitles. Now a story of drugs, love, sex, and more drugs.
I really enjoyed this edit, even when I didn't quite understand it. ssj is a demented (in the best way) poet, and the subs are never dull. I chuckled many a time and even ALLOL'd (actually literally laughed out loud) several times.
The only disappointment was that the humor slows down in the second half of the edit, as there is not much dialogue to subtitle. But then again, we still get to watch the great action sequences, so that's not a bad thing.
Highly recommended to all dragonkin and non-dragonkin alike. I rate this 9 out of 10 Banana Lime and White Peach Yogurt Fountains.
(*Note: I did not rate audio/video quality as I watched this on my phone)
This provided a very enjoyable, lighthearted experience. The new plot (provided by ssj in the subtitles) is thin, but the humor more than makes up for that. As the original was a fantasy-tinged love story, so is ssj's take, though the romance is given less screen time. Not all viewers will understand all the references, but they do not detract from the experience.