Star Wars - The Epic Picture

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Star Wars: The Epic Picture... where do I begin

This edit had SO MUCH potential and SO MANY interesting aspects but the way it was executed... ughhhhhh

The plot to this movie... I don't even know what it is! You have a bunch of unrelated war movies and Star Wars, then you just kind of cut them together... what? I found certain parts to make sense, funny and unexpected things happen, but still aren't well edited together. This edit seems like a "first cut" of the project, so many things need to be revisited, rearranged, and fixed!

A/V Quality:
Fine, nothing noticeably bad here other than star wars deleted scene film scans but that isn't the editor's fault.

Editing:
Oh my... the fade-outs! The dreadful fade-outs! So many choppy cuts! Almost unbearable at some points.

Narrative:
Don't even get me started, this is NOT a cohesive story, this is NOT multiple cohesive stories, this is a complete and utter mess

Story Analysis: HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW
The movie starts off with an intensely christian Ian Mcdiarmid getting lit on fire by a demon (darth bane?). Then the movie moves on to a bunch of other world war two movies for quite a while, also every once in a while cutting back to Darth Vader for no apparent reason. The movie drags on for quite a while, then Darth Vader talks to the Emperor and has a ridiculous vision of how Christopher Lee and Ian Mcdiarmid are partners and how the emperor is deformed from being burned (refer to scene at the beginning) and how Christopher Lee had the plague but was saved by becoming Darth Vader, this montage was easily the most entertaining thing about this edit but doesn't actually serve a single purpose for the story. Many scenes in this movie just seemed straight up pointless, there's a scene where Harrison Ford and his group of soldiers try to convince a Nazi soldier that they are holding medecine (why?) and another scene where a woman bathes and then makes love to a German Soldier (whyyyy?). Halfway through the movie, A New Hope starts, and runs for pretty much the rest of the edit, this is just a shortened version of Star Wars, and actually works due to the fact that it serves a purpose. The movie ends with the death star destroying a planet while the trench run happens, then it just cuts to a bunch of previously shown characters looking sad. I don't even know what to say about this... what. a. mess.

This edit could have been much better if the stories were all intercut and came together but they just didn't, it made no sense. John Williams' score is only present in the Star Wars scenes, and should have definitely been used throughout the entire film to provide the same atmosphere and emotion. What a disappointment, I'm sorry T-Bone, but this is a complete failure. :(

User Review

Do you recommend this edit?
No
Format Watched?
MP4/AVI/etc. (HD)
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(Updated: July 27, 2014)
Overall rating
 
3.4
Audio/Video Quality
 
7.0
Visual Editing
 
2.0
Audio Editing
 
4.0
Narrative
 
3.0
Enjoyment
 
3.0
!This review contains massive spoilers! So up to you if you want to read on that's your call.

Okay before I start, I made a pledge last year to be totally honest in my reviews, even if it was very negative. Previously I just choose to never write the review, which I thought wasnt being honest. So I'm not going to sugar coat this one. Sorry...

Audio/Video Quality - 7/10

Most of the source material is decent looking HD but some material is jarring sub-SD. I also cannot fathom why this edit is based on the 2011 SE and not something like Harmy's DE? So yes this has a wierd pinkish hue and bizarre CGI additions. There is often the use of slow-motion but it is very jerky and unnatural looking. Some scenes featured a wierd blurring round the edges that appeared then disappeared. There are also a couple of aspect ratio problems where the image bled from scope into the 16:9 frame.

Visual Editing - 2/10

Almost all of the edits here are done by quickly fading in and out of black (Accomapnied with a harsh audio silence). Fades to black (Even well executed ones) are the mark of lazy editing in my book. There is no effort to colour grade the different "planets", add establishing shots or make the disperate elements gel in any way whatsover. The trims to ANH itself are brutal and obvious with nothing done to make the cuts match or smooth over the audio gap. The worst bit though is actually the lack of edits...

e.g. Christopher Lee is still called Rasputin instead of Vader??? (So was Christopher Lee supposed to be Vader or what? It wasn't very clear) when the name could have been removed, we are forced to watch 7 seemingly unedited minutes of Kwai before Guiness even features and 20 minutes of Kwai with little or no tangible connection to Star Wars. Again the Navarone footage goes on and on and on with just Ford's presence to link it to SW at all.

This edit is almost 3 HOURS LONG. You really need to justify this ammount of someone's time. At least try to make it as short as is practicle to spare the audience. But there was no attempt to make any part shorter than it could have been. This aspect of the edit made me a little angry if I'm honest.

A warning: Although this should be a family friendly Star Wars edit, don't show the family as the bizarre decision has been taken to make Greedo swear several times in his subtitles (I added the *) e.g.

"..and put a f*cking bolt in your brain here and now"

This bit ^ made me wonder if this was supposed to be the fanedit equivelant of 'The Room'. A fanedit so misjudged it becomes unintentionally funny. Lastly there is an obvious error in the fanedit credits at the end.

Audio Editing - 3/10

Most of the audio features sudden and very harsh audio fades or no fades at all, the audio just cuts out. At points the audio was badly mis-matched to the video but I'm not sure if this was a "deliberate creative choice". Music qeues start and then stop dead, no gradual fade out or fade in, they are there and then they are not. There is almost no attempt to match the soundtracks of the added footage to the SW universe. Even a little JW music here and there would have helped.

The total failure to make any effort on this front meant the sudden dubbing of blaster sounds over one scene in the middle genuinely just made me laugh. Also many SoundFXs are missing or mis-timed. The deleted ANH footage is the worst with no additional FX added to complete the largely incomplete soundtrack.

Narrative - 3/10

Scenes follow no logic order, or character arc. Characters are bitter enemies and then quite friendly one cut later. There are many pointless minor characters that get loads of screen time for no reason. Either plot elements are introduced with no resolution, or explanations for later events are removed. If you know Star Wars I'd call the narrative incoherent, in the unlikely event you don't know Star Wars, I'd imagine it would be baffling in the extreme.

Enjoyment - 3/10

First off the few highlights: The Emperor redub was a lot of fun. The new Cantina music was groovey. The ending montage was quite well done. The cutaway to the Death Star during the bridge chat was cool. That's it I think.

In conclusion, this is only for Star Wars ADDICTS who have limitless reserves of patience and a high tolerance for poor editing. The ambition is Epic, but the execution is most definitely not. This is the worst fanedit I've so far watched and 3 hours of my life I won't be getting back.

Again, I'm sorry for the harsh review but I'm just being honest.

User Review

Do you recommend this edit?
No
Format Watched?
MP4/AVI/etc. (HD)
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(Updated: July 28, 2014)
Overall rating
 
4.2
Audio/Video Quality
 
10.0
Visual Editing
 
7.0
Audio Editing
 
9.0
Narrative
 
3.0
Enjoyment
 
2.0
I had a hard time with this edit. I felt the connections between the different sources were tenuous, but I think if the length had been shorter I would have been more likely to try to go along for the ride. I felt like the ride didn't fully get going until firmly in New Hope territory. It was a lot like flipping through channels for 90 minutes until running across Star Wars and then watching that for a while. (I have attempted to watch this a second time, which is why I am editing my review again.)
There were some neat special fx seeing the incomplete Death Star in the sky at one point, and I liked some things toward the end, particularly the shots of Harrison Ford and Alec Guinness looking sad.
I am eager to read other reviews.

(Revised 7/18/2014)

User Review

Do you recommend this edit?
No
Format Watched?
MP4/AVI/etc. (HD)
Owner's reply July 08, 2014

Hello.

Thanks for the review!

So.....where to begin.....

Are you right in the head? I need to ask. Enjoyment is subjective, so I am not about to tell you right from wrong here. But when you seem to have based your opinion on some really random points that have no bearing on reality, then I really feel the need to say something in support of myself. I can quite happily accept that not everyone will like this. That is fine. I am a big boy. I can handle it. What I can NOT handle are untruths and a poor review written by someone who has clearly not properly watched this edit, if they watched it at all.

So, where do we start then? (this should be fun)

Firstly, if you didn't want to watch a 3 hour film, then why the hell did you download and watch a 3 hour film?

Secondly, did you actually watch it? It seems more like you have read the outline and made up a fantasy edit in your head. Like, maybe you read about it and thought the idea wasn't sound, contemplated it, let it fester and bubble until you couldn't stand it any more and then came here to unleash some random "review". Maybe your bad feelings are based in your own inadequacies. I'm not really sure. But your rundown of the edit seems to be based on some kind of strange idea that you hatched in your head and not of what was actually produced, accepted, enjoyed and uploaded. Maybe you DID actually "watch" it, but I think you were FAR from actually paying any attention. Were you doing other things while it was playing? Like, maybe you were chatting with the voices in your head. Or maybe some girl you fancied didn't accept your gift of homemade knob cheese and you needed to vent. Who knows? For starters, no, it is NOT simply random films just stapled together. This is the first sign that you have not actually watched it. There are constant threads woven throughout the film linking everything. Yeah, it can be complicated sometimes, and maybe thinking isn't your thing. I don't know! Did you expect to just see a Star Wars film? Well sorry, but that isn't the point of a FanMix. There was no "bridge being built on some random planet". The bridge is referring to the bridge of a vessel, in this case, the Death Star. You need to let go of your preconceived ideas of the meaning of "bridge" and its context in the original film. I know it can be hard to separate what is already cemented in your head and maybe open your mind a little, but you should give it a go. You'll learn all sorts of new things. The Death Star bridge that these prisoners were building was CLEARLY explained at several points. It couldn't be any clearer. I'd love to try and ease any other misgivings might you have about how things "weren't connected", but you didn't really get into much detail. So: bridge, clearly explained. It isn't my fault if you are too thick to understand it.

And the films ARE all connected, narrative wise. The whole point of a FanMIX edit is to create something totally new with the familiar. You need to open your mind, let go of what you know about the original works. This edit is SUPPOSED to be a little different. It is SUPPOSED to make the viewer think a little bit, ponder it, not just stare through the screen, pausing randomly to point their finger at the cat and make laser "pew! pew!" sounds and then sop up the drool. If there is anything else that needs explaining, I'd be more than happy to talk with you about it, because trust me; I spent a long time fine tuning this edit to make sure that things DID match up and DID flow. I know this edit in tiny detail. I am VERY confident that I can explain any and all aspects of this edit and how one thing fits in with another and how it all comes together at the end. Maybe some things flew right over your head. Give it another watch. Maybe....just maybe.....you'll start to understand it.

Thirdly, thank you for your helpful comment about maybe using different music throughout to link things a little. That's a great idea. Ooh, that's right! I actually DID THAT! I even went to the incredible effort of changing sound effects, adding subtitles and changing lines, giving characters new names and backgrounds that THREAD EVERYTHING TOGETHER. Seriously, there are literally hundreds of tiny cuts, additions and changes throughout. I am surprised that you seemed to miss them all. I mean, yeah, you'd probably miss some due to the high volume, but ALL of them?? Wow. That's really something.

Look, sorry to come off bitter here.....no, wait...no, actually, I'm not.

Again, enjoyment is completely subjective and I appreciate you rating highly on the editing score. But your complaints are not based on what was produced. Example: if you had have said something like, "Yes, I can see what is going on here but I just didn't enjoy it", that would make sense! This kind of edit really isn't for everyone, and that is fine! I don't WANT to make edits that are for everyone! That is why IFDb has these write ups. You can spend time reading up on things and figure out what might interest you. Look at sources used and other reviews and RUNNING TIMES. That way you won't waste your time on something that you will clearly hate, like this edit.

Look, I understand that it's probably not your fault. It's the same reason that Justin Bieber will sell more records than Damon Albarn, or that more people will watch American Idol than they will Les Revenants. Not everything can appeal to the lowest common denominator. That's fine. I get that. But PLEASE, I beg you, do the next fan editor a favor and actually watch the film before you stab at the keyboard randomly with your stumpy fingers (yeah, broad assumption there, but I'm fine with it). Feel free to rate enjoyment as low. That is seriously FINE. I don't care what your OPINION is. But what I DO care about is someone trashing something that they do not understand. I DO care when someone is giving a really false representation of what this edit is about and what it contains. I CANNOT STAND an untruth. And based on what you have written and formed your opinion on, it is clear that my film was either not watched or not really had any attention paid to it.

So thank you for the review. I really appreciate it. I am fine to leave it here, along with this response. I don't want you to change it. No, no...PLEASE leave it here for all to see. It is a great example of what a poorly thought out review looks like. Others can read it and learn from your mistakes and know how to maybe form a sentence and articulate exactly how they feel about a fan edit properly, instead of just spewing out whatever fantasy world bull shit popped into their head.

I have saved your review to my computer. I can look at it when I am feeling down or uninspired. I can read it, breath it in, let my frustrations float away with the wind and know that if a halfwit like you didn't like my work, then I must be doing everything right.

Oh, and you'll be pleased to know that I am already in the very early stages of the sequel! It's going to be great! Please stay away.

Yours sincerely,

T-Bone x x x x

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