Star Wars: Episode II - The Approaching Storm

Ah, Episode II. What a strange creature this film is. Surely it's the worst Star Wars film, but if that's so, how is it that this edit makes for such great viewing? Hats off to Hal9000, and I suppose a weird sort of thanks to Lucas for hiding a good movie in his original garbage bag.

It's an interesting thing that the theatrical version of The Phantom Menace is better than Attack of the Clones, but even the former's best edit is not nearly as good as the best edit of the latter. I guess at its core, Episode II is better than Episode I. Take the bits of trash out of the Episode II bag and you're left with a pretty cool movie. But take the bits of trash out of the Episode I bag and still left with what that film is: a pretty dull movie. But that Episode II bag has so much trash in it. And seeing a good edit like this is very satisfying.

My metaphor is simplifying things too much, though. If it was just a matter of taking out the trash, editing this film would be easy. But it's much harder than that. Possibly my favorite part of this edit is the handling of the Anakin and Padme romance. If an editor were to simply take out the trash in the romance, there would be no romance. To make it work, an editor needs to use what he's given to make that romance believable, which it definitely wasn't in the original. Hal does this perfectly. I've researched it, and it seems like his reordering of the scenes comes mostly from Slumberland's, which I'm more than cool with. No problem borrowing from other editors, Hal maybe made the best there is of Episode I by doing that. But it seems like Slumberland left in the horrendous interrupted kiss, while Hal9000 cut away before the interruption. This change alone, which is critical, means I have no problem proclaiming Hal9000 as the absolute best handler of the romance.

My previous favorite Episode II edit was L8wrtr's, and Hal9000's is very similar, which is a good thing. The substantial differences (the aforementioned romance, Obi-Wan discovering Kamino, Obi-Wan and Jango fisticuffs) are all changed for the better in Hal9000's. This would be enough for me to call it my new preferred Episode II. But Hal also fixes something I wasn't sure was possible to fix: the assassination plot. In the original it makes almost zero sense. But here it makes a whole lot of sense (thanks to some choice deletions and the inclusion of a deleted scene) and ties in nicely with the fact that "Palpatine's behind it all."

Long story short, this is the best edit of Episode II there is (at least in my opinion), and it is undoubtedly and substantially better than the theatrical cut. Great work Hal!

Right off the bat, let me just say Attack of the Clones is by far my least favourite of the Prequel Trilogy. I'm a big fan of the period in the lore - I love the Clone Wars shorts and The Clone Wars series - but AotC is just so full of BLARG awkward Christensen and/or McGregor I can barely stand to watch it. Which brings us to this very welcome reason to revisit Episode II.

AV QUALITY, VISUAL & AUDIO EDITING
Nigh faultless. If HAL9000's third objective is to shroud his editor's hand and convince the audience they're watching a theatrical cut, from a technical perspective: job done. The wipes and cuts are all extremely in-universe, the replaced audio fits beautifully, the score is seamless - I really struggle to find anything wrong with any of it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I found it far less all-over-the-place than the version I saw in the cinema all those years ago.

I almost docked one point off A/V Quality because I was specifically looking for any kind of artifacting or drop in quality on the 720p m4v, and thought perhaps I saw some on one of the re-inserted deleted scenes (part of the replacement for the factory sequence) - but in the end, I decided that if there was any, it was so minor as to be negligible.

Finally, I thought it worth noting that I'd have liked to have heard the audio on the gladiatorial scene worked up a bit - some sound effects added or replaced, maybe some score; much in the vein HAL9000 improved the pod race from Episode I - but it was still weird and disconnected in a couple of notable instances. It is in the original, so this is by no means a criticism of the edit. More, a note to the editor in case he decides to (re-)revisit it.

NARRATIVE
Despite the extreme technical prowess on display here, the crafting of the narrative is undoubtedly where the magic of this fan edit lies.

The new crawl sets the scene perfectly. The action is pacier and the story flows far more naturally. The Jedi Order comes across less like a bunch of pious monks. Obi-Wan is less preachy. Yoda is the calm, collected legend of the force he should be - instead of that angry green chipmunk thing. Jar Jar is (almost entirely absent!) the simple-minded everyman, instead of a complete idiot. The clones are more autonomous (like their spin-off series equivalents). There's no droid factory craziness.

And as for Anakin... well, Anakin is still annoying. But well within the realms of being tolerable, if not out-and-out likeable. I felt I could actually get behind his decisions and behaviour in this cut, where in the original I'd like to see him crushed to death by that giant Nabooan flea. And the love story, although it moves at a whirlwind clip which neither party seems wont to comment on (even more so in this edit), works pretty well. It's not perfect but with less laboring over it, you can imagine now that for them it is just that: a whirlwind affair in an insane time. Top marks for ridding this movie of its worst source of angsty/saccharine nonsense.

That said, the cut to the conversation at the picnic was just this side of jarring... but I reflected even as I watched it that the reason was because it genuinely gave me a sense that we'd joined them in the middle of a conversation, (and Padme's statement therefore seemed unprovoked), which is exactly what we did - so it kind of works. And it's certainly a fine trade-off for cutting the guff there.

Overall, I found myself making connections which had been lost in the noise before: Anakin's ridiculous flea-ride parallels his taming of the rhino-thing in the arena; the little back and forth between Anakin and Padme about diplomacy fondly echoes shared memories of conversations they'd had earlier. It was the same, but different. Really good job.

The only cut I was sad to see (so far there's been precisely one cut I'd prefer to have seen left in, if edited, in each of HAL9000's Prequel Trilogy edits) was the Death Star plans. I know it's unnecessary, I know it's universe-shrinking, I know it's just fan service - but I liked it. If HAL9000 does a re-(re-)edit here, I'd like to see part of that scene, however brief, re-integrated.

(Finally, another note to the editor: if there's a way to splice the scene where Anakin says, "I have a bad feeling about this," so that it occurs before the beasts are released, but after Poggle gives the command, it will sound MUCH less forced. As it is, it sticks out as a series catchphrase like there's a big neon sign pointing to it.)

ENJOYMENT
Probably goes without saying that I actually enjoyed this movie this time around. Quite a lot, in fact.

It was still full of little moments of annoyance - Shmi's Oscar-attempt death, Anakin and Padme rolling in the fields, Jango's abrupt demise, EVERYTHING GREENSCREEN ALL THE TIME - but in the round I felt the rest of the movie bore up those moments well. And hey, the Original Trilogy weren't perfect - there were a couple of moments there which don't stand up as well on rewatching - so this sits for me as a fine addition to the series.

I can actually imagine watching it again, which really says something!

Hal9000 has managed to take the weakest of the prequels and chipped away enough of the dead weight to make something that really works so much better.

Not much else to say that hasn't already been said. Arguably the worst Star Wars movie has been improved to the point you wouldn't feel awkward recommending it to anyone.

Among the edit's achievements: the three worst scenes are cut out of the movie entirely, the improved opening scenes flow more naturally, the pacing has been improved, and the Anakin/Padme romance actually works now. I have a few nitpicks but taking it on its own merits, well...it's really quite remarkable.

This edit transformed the original film--one that I would describe as 'so-bad-it's-good'--into a movie I'd now say is 'pretty good'.

At last, I can finally enjoy the prequels! Years after giving up hope of finding prequel edits that I could really enjoy, Hal9000's Episode II edit has done it!

I watched so many fanedits of Episodes I & II that left me wishing I could get my time refunded (nothing against the faneditors, just the material). I recently realized I had been taking the wrong approach by looking for an edit that removed all of the elements that I disliked, as edits that took that approach never seemed to have enough material left to craft what felt like a full film. Hal9000's edit is more reserved cut-wise and seems to try to include as much as possible to give the film enough content and weight to flow smoothly and feel like a complete film. Somehow Hal9000 was able to include much more of the film than I would have though possible while still (mostly) avoiding the frequent criticisms of the film like bad writing, acting, attempts at humor, etc. and the quality of the edit is top-notch.

There were at most a couple of instances where I felt like a transition wasn't quite flawless, either visually or audibly, but it may just have been a result of knowing the original too well or watching too many fanedits. Regardless, they were the most minor of issues, and I can't even recall which scenes were involved because I was just so surprised by how much I was enjoying myself watching this film!

Hal9000 has elevated this film to a place I never though possible: a worthy companion to the original trilogy!