I wanted to give this edit a chance, but after watching the first half I stopped. None of the cuts you made seemed in any way to improve or change the tone of the film, and in fact I think some of them worked against the film. I stopped watching when they let the dinosaurs out of their cages and I realized that you not only cut out the San Diego sequence at the end, but really cut out most of Ingen’s motivation for even being on the island.
It’s curious; when I first watched this movie the San Diego T-Rex scene was my favorite part, yet there are two fanedits of this movie on this site that both advertise proudly how they’ve cut that part out. This movie has many flaws, but that scene doesn’t need to be excised entirely; it just needs to be tightened up with some the gags cut out so you can understand how terrifying a T-Rex rampaging through a major metropolitan city really is.