Jailbird – a Con Air Fanedit
- removed the first appearance of Duncan Malloy in his sports car. Yes, movies need bad guys and corrupt DEA agents and stuff, but this scene was a bit over the edge. The sports car is kind of important later on, but only as a running gag. Our edition contains no gags.
- removed the guard examining Pinball and Cameron stepping out the bus. No hero appearances in slow motion, please … and no superficial jokes either (“you smell like someone’s been shitting in your mouth” “he said he loved me” …).
- removed Johnny 600. Over the top.
- removed “Sally” intro. Less jokes, more action.
- removed Pinball talking to the female worker. Less jokes, more action.
- removed Cyrus’ exploding cell. This was completely over the top.
- removed talk between Cameron and Diamond Dog. We love Ving, but he just smiles too much here for the kind of character he is playing.
- removed some Diamond Dogs scenes when he is down in the freight room with Cameron. Too many jokes.
- removed Diamond Dog wearing shades and “Sally” complaining about it. The scene was intended to give Billy Bedlam a reason to enter the freight room, but was unnecessarily funny.
- removed Cameron after killing Billy Bedlam saying: “Why didn’t you put the bunny back in the box?” less jokes, more action, please.
- removed Larkin opening the hatch on Lerner Airfield and dropping down. Over the top.
- removed the other pilot scene as he is running away from the convicts. Unnecessary.
- removed Sally picking a dress. Sally is meant to be funny and/or entertaining. But he is just another stupid gay joke. Not needed here.
- removed Duncan talking in the chopper about Larkin trying to save the rainforest. Asshole over the edge.
- removed another Duncan chopper scene (“you said 10 minutes 10 minutes ago”)
- removed Cameron running in slow motion with flying hair from the explosion. This shot must have been meant for Playgirl magazine.
- removed “Sally” talking to Cyrus about what he can do.
- heavily edited the helicopter chase scene. If army helicopters try to shoot down a plane they will succeed. And if people try to fight with guns out of a plane against choppers, they would not be able to stand, because of heavy vibrations and plane movement. Terrible scene.
- removed Cameron talking to Baby’o: “It is just like God does not exist. Where are you going?” “I am going to show you, God does exist.” This is one time to much being the hero and talking like him. No more please.
- removed “Sally” from being slapped by Cameron.
- removed “Sally” from being arrested.
October 29, 2009
Funny, I haven’t seen Con Air since it was released, and I was a little surprised while watching Jailbird this morning just how bad the movie is.
Maybe that’s not fair. I guess it wasn’t horrible. Just seems like I remembered a more enjoyable film. I suppose I can tell by my reaction that it is no longer the 90s and I am no longer a teenager.
Still Jailbird is a good step towards improvement and watchability. If I knew someone planning to re-watch Con Air I’m sure I would give them a copy of this instead. The edits were seamless for me, and the editing choices were overall good ones. If it were me, I would probably try and remove more, perhaps cut more of the asshole DEA agent. But then again, it is easy to start cutting bad dialogue, and accidentally end up with nothing left that resembles a movie. I can’t say whether removing anything else would have actually ended up harming the pacing.
The DVD menus are beautiful, although they had a few annoyances for me. When I went to look at what special features were missing, I was frustrated to see there was no button to go back to the main menu. So I clicked on “root menu” (using WinDVD), and it brought me back to the transition scene between the main menu and the special features. I had to press “title menu” instead, although of course I had to re-watch the intro to the main menu (maybe that’s unavoidable, I still don’t know much about making complicated motion menus). Later I was watching the scene comparisons, and pressed the next chapter button thinking it would lead me back to the special features menu, but it brought me to the trailer reel instead (which is fine, since that was what I wanted to select next). At the end of the trailers it looped back to the first trailer though. As I said, these are obviously very minor quibbles.
All in all I feel it’s a strong 7 stars for me. I can’t give much higher, because Con Air just isn’t that enjoyable for me, but I give kudos for making it watchable, which I still think is kind of amazing.