Hobbit: The Anti-Cringe Cut, The

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Hobbit: The Anti-Cringe Cut, The
Faneditor Name:
Fanedit Type:
Original Release Date:
2012 / 2013 / 2014
Original Running Time:
532
Fanedit Release Date:
Fanedit Running Time:
299
Time Cut:
234
Time Added:
1
Available in HD?
Brief Synopsis:
This cut removes Azog as the main villain from the story. The side quests are also gone and the main focus remains on Bilbo's adventure. In addition most of the over-the-top action, violence and silly moments are gone, while still providing a functioning narrative.
Intention:
Like most LOTR fans, I was stoked when I heard that Peter Jackson would take us back to Middle-Earth in his adaption of "The Hobbit". When I heard, that the book, which was about 300 pages long was being made into a trilogy I got a little skeptical of the whole project but I was still excited what Jackson would do with the source material. When "An Unexpected Journey" came out it was a good movie but I still felt let down somehow. There were just so many unnecessary distractions from the main plot and too much violence for an adaptation of what Tolkien had intended to be a children's book. The second and final movie took most of my concerns to a whole other level. More violence, more cringy scenes and characters, more over-the-top action scenes...
Back then I didn't think about the possibility of "fixing" the trilogy but after discovering the world of fanedits almost a year ago and my New Zealand trip, which reignited my passion for everything LOTR related I decided to give this a shot and trim this trilogy down to get a little bit closer to the book.
Additional Notes:
This fanedit is available in two formats: The Anti-Cringe Cut, whis is one big movie (299min) and a miniseries, where the Anti-Cringe-Cut is split into five episodes (for details see "Changes").
Special Thanks:
- J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson
- New Zealand
- My wife
Release Information:
Digital
Editing Details:
This fanedit was made using:
- Adobe Premiere
- Adobe After Effects
- Adobe Photoshop
- Adobe Audition
Cuts and Additions:
THE MINISERIES:

The Anti-Cringe Cut is made "more digestible" by being split into five episodes:
1. An Unexpected Journey (55 min)
2. Riddles in the Dark (66 min)
3. A Warm Welcome (60 min)
4. Fire and Water (63 min)
5. There and Back Again (62 min)
Miniseries Runtime: 306 min

CHANGES/ADDITIONS
- Intro and Outro sequence for every episode (including music from the Hobbit OST)
- Different Title Cards for every episode using various LOTR/Hobbit style fonts
- The Hobbit" logo has different colors matching the overall episode theme

-----------

THE ANTI-CRINGE CUT:

An Unexpected Journey:

CHANGES
- Azog does not exist, he is never seen nor mentioned
- Radagast does not play any part in the story
- The Necromancer does not play any part in the story
- Saruman does not play any part in this story
- The Arkenstone is not mentioned in the beginning of the story
- Bilbo finding the ring is now consistent with his depiction of that moment in LOTR
- The goblin king's fate is unclear (he is not killed by Gandalf)
- Smaug is never seen in the first half of the movie
- Some silly moments are gone (I'm looking at you "Dwarf Pool Party")
- No over-the-top action
- No over-the-top violence (decapitations etc.)

CUT
- Old Bilbo slips up and nearly mentions to Frodo that he plans to leave the Shire
- Flashback of Smaug's attack
- Bilbo goes out of the house and thinks that Gandalf is following him
- Azog flashback
- Orks watching Bilbo and the group
- Radagast is introduced
- Radagast talks to Gandalf
- Orks attack and elves fend them off
- Orks return to Azog empty handed
- Dwarves "play around" in the water
- Saruman shows himself to Gandalf
- Council about the Necromancer
- Galadriel talks about Sauron
- Galadriel offers Gandalf her help whenever he needs it and disappears
- Azog picks up the dwarves scent
- Various close ups of the goblins attacking the group
- Goblin king mentions Azog and sends an underling to inform him about the groups whereabouts
- Gollum kills a goblin and loses the ring in progress while Bilbo watches
- The group decapitates a couple of goblins and various other goblin fight close-ups
- Gandalf kills the goblin king
- The group "surfe" down the goblin cave
- Azog commands orks that attack the group outside of the goblin cave
- Bilbo tries to get his sword out of a warg's head
- Thorin fights Azog and Bilbo tries to help him
- The other dwarves join the fight against Azog
- Bird flying to the Lonely Mountain
- Smaug awakens
- Credits

ADDED
- Anti-Cringe Intro

Time cut: 63 min

The Desolation of Smaug:

CHANGES
- "12 months later" after the flashback in Bree becomes a "2 months later" connecting the first and second movie
- Azog still doesn't exist
- Radagast is nowhere to be seen
- The Necromancer/Sauron does not make an appearance or is mentioned in any way by the characters
- No cringy romance (love triangle between Kili, Tauriel and Legolas)
- Legolas part is basically reduced to a cameo (no creepy Legolas)
- Tauriel's part is basically reduced to an extra
- Lake Town is not attacked by orks
- Thranduil's stronghold is not attacked by orks
- Thrain does not make an appearance
- Bard is neither captured nor imprisoned
- Kili is not healed by Tauriel but we can assume that Bard helped him
- There is no lengthy chase inside the mountain
- Some silly moments are gone (I'm looking at you "Dwarf River Ride")
- No over-the-top action (aka Legolas and Tauriel in god mode)
- No over-the-top violence (e.g. torturing spiders etc.)
- Cringe reduced as much as possible (I'm looking at you Alfrid)

CUT
- Gandalf talks to Thorin in a flashback
- "Desolation of Smaug" title screen
- Azog and his orks chase the group
- Azog watches Beorn from a distance
- Azog goes to the Necromancers lair
- Bolg is introduced
- Beorn talks about how Azog tortured his kind
- Gandalf and Beorn talk about the Necromancer
- Galadriel tells Gandalf to go to the Necromancer's lair in Dol Guldur
- Various close ups of the dwarves killing spiders in Mirkwood
- Bilbo kills a baby spider
- Tauriel kills a couple of spiders and saves Kili
- Tauriel talks to Kili and Legolas gets jealous
- Thranduil shows Thorin his burnt face
- Bolg watches the elven gates
- Tauriel flirts with Kili and Legolas stalks them
- Thranduil talks to Tauriel about Legolas love for her
- Bilbo sneaks past Thranduil wearing the ring
- The dwarves "theme-park-ride" down the river
- Orks attack the dwarves and Legolas and Tauriel defend them
- Gandalf meets Radagast at the Nazgul's grave
- Thranduil interrogates a captured ork and kills him
- Legolas learns that Tauriel went after the dwarves
- Bolg picks up the scent of the group
- Alfrid inspects Bard's boat at the city gates of Lake Town
- Alfrid talks to the Master of Lake Town
- Bard and the group escape the city guard
- Legolas catches up to Tauriel
- Bard finds out about the prophecy
- Alfrid talks to the Master about overhearing Bard's discovery
- Alfrid looks out the door and closes it when the dwarves are caught by the city guard
- The master refuses to help a wounded Kili
- Gandalf visits the Necromancer's lair and is attacked by Thrain
- Azog at the Necromancer's lair
- Thrain has a flashback to Azog's attack on his people
- Azog fights Gandalf
- The Necromancer reveals himself to be Sauron
- Smaug mentions Sauron indirectly
- Bard is chased by the city guard, knocked out by the Master and imprisoned
- Bard's son hides the black arrow in a boat
- Gandalf sees an army of orks marching
- Bolg and a group of orks infiltrate Lake Town
- Orks attack Bard's home
- Tauriel and Legolas save the dwarves at Lake Town
- Thorin meets Bilbo inside the mountain and threatens him
- Tauriel heals Kili
- Dwarves sneak around in the mountain
- Kili wakes up and talks to Tauriel
- The dwarves discover dwarven corpses inside the mountain
- Smaug chases the group through the mountain
- Legolas fights Bolg in Lake Town
- The dwarves set the furnaces inside the mountain ablaze
- The dwarves attempt to engulf Smaug in liquid gold but the escapes
- An imprisoned bard hears Smaug coming
- Bilbo watches Smaug fly away in shock and asks "What have done?"
- Credits

Time cut: 98 min

The Battle of the Five Armies:

CHANGES
- Nope, no Azog
- Bolg is depicted as the leader of the orc army
- The dragon's attack on Lake Town focuses on Bard and Smaug
- The Master's whereabouts in the aftermath of Smaug's attack are unknown
- Alfrid's appearances are reduced
- Side quest in Dol Guldur is gone
- Radagast does not show up
- Tauriel and Legolas appear in only one small scene
- Scenes on the battlefield are severely reduced to focus on the main characters
- New music used when the elves come to aid the dwarves in battle against the orks
- Thorin's "dragon sickness moments" are reduced
- Fili, Kili and Thorin are not killed on screen
- Some silly moments are gone (e.g. Bifur "butting heads" with an ork, Skydiving Beorn, etc.)
- No over-the-top action (aka Legolas still in god mode)
- No over-the-top violence (cutting off heads and limbs in the battle scenes, etc.)
- Cringe reduced as much as possible (I'm still looking at you Alfrid)
- Order of the character sketches in the main credits

CUT
- The Master tries to escape with his riches
- Tauriel escapes with the dwarves in Lake Town
- Bard tries to escape his cell
- The Master kicks Alfrid into the water
- The master unintentionally aids Bard in his prison break
- Bard's son retrieves the black arrow
- Bard cuts down the bell's ropes
- Smaug frightens the Master
- "Battle of the Five Armies" title screen
- Gandalf at Dol Guldur in a cage
- Alfrid's silly antics as he gets out of the water
- Killi says farewell to Tauriel
- The remaining dwarves sail to the lonely mountain
- Alfrid kissing Bard's ass
- An angry mob tries to hang Alfrid and Bard stops them
- Bard talks to Legolas about the riches inside the mountain
- Azog adresses his troops and sends Bolg on a mission
- Legolas and Tauriel set out to Gundabad
- Exodus of the people of Lake Town
- Ork attacks Gandalf
- Galadriel saves Gandalf
- Saruman and Elrond join the fight
- Radagast comes to Gandalf's aid
- Sauron makes an appearance and is banished by Galadriel
- Gandalf says farewell to Radagast
- Legolas and Tauriel at Gundabad
- Gandalf mentions Azog in front of Thranduil and Bard
- Azog summons the were-worms
- Some fight scenes between the dwarves and elves
- Azog commands his troops in the battle of the five armies
- Practically all of the fight scenes in the city of Dale
- Dwalin trying to persuade Thorin to join the fight
- Part of Thorin's vision which brings him back to his senses
- Some of the fight scenes of Thorin and dwarven comrades
- Thorin and his comrades making their way to Ravenhill
- Alfrid "disguised" as a woman
- Legolas mentions a second army to Gandalf
- Bifur's "You lost your axe" moment
- Fili and Kili scouting out Ravenhill
- Azog kills Fili
- Tauriel fights Bolg
- Bolg kills Kili
- Legolas fights Bolg and kills him
- Thorin fights Azog and both kill each other
- Beorn and Radagast join the fight
- Thranduil tasks Legolas with finding Aragorn
- Tauriel mourns Kili
- Beorn and Radagast at Thorin's mourning ceremony
- Sketches of Tauriel, Radagast, Azog, Necromancer/Sauron, Saruman, The Master and Alfrid in the main credits

ADDED
- When Bilbo gets knocked out by Bolg he has a flashback to the moment he was accepted by Thorin. The flashback begins with a misleading tone, just like the original scene was.. The eagles coming to their aid are the connecting element between the flashback and reality. His fond memory clashes with the harsh reality of Thorin's death
- Gollum and Frodo appear in the main credits

Time cut: 72 min
Cover art by DonKamillo (DOWNLOAD HERE)
image


Mini-Series Cover art by DonKamillo (DOWNLOAD HERE)
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User reviews

25 reviews
 
88%
 
12%
5-7 stars
 
0%
3-5 stars
 
0%
1-3 stars
 
0%
Overall rating
 
9.5
Audio/Video Quality
 
9.9(25)
Visual Editing
 
9.7(25)
Audio Editing
 
9.8(25)
Narrative
 
9.2(25)
Enjoyment
 
9.4(25)
View all user reviews View most helpful
Overall rating
 
9.0
Audio/Video Quality
 
10.0
Visual Editing
 
10.0
Audio Editing
 
10.0
Narrative
 
10.0
Enjoyment
 
8.0
First off: my Enjoyment level just beeing 8 is purely because of the Films themselves.
I´m somehow over the Hobbit, if you know what i mean.
I have never read the Hobbit or LOTR and so i was ok with pretty much everything back when it came out. Except, i felt it all in parts repetitiv and to long. That was before the Extended Cuts came out.
And dont get me wrong, all the Fans love the effort and thet Directors even care enough to put so much work into something is great.

This Edit came to play because i wanted to try different approaches to the whole, so i watched the Marple Cut that was mentioned a lot on the net. And than i was given the DonKamillo CVut of The Batman in his Mini Series Format that i loved somuch.
The only thing to do know, was to see the Hobbit again in this Series Format and i did something that i have not expected: I made me have real Fun with the whole thing again.
The Episodical Format works so well in this case, one can start and with ho stress watch the rest later :)

The films really are Dustcollectors on my Shelf now.
DonKamillo's edting is excellent- the cuts are seamless (for me).
Eeach episode moves with the pace it needs and so much Buffermaterial is gone.
I did not miss anything. I had room to let the Episode sink in, when i felt it was needed and came back to the next one.

As a miniseries, done by DonKamillo, this is the second time i enjoyed a film more after his touches.
I tip my Cap to you DK.

V.

User Review

Do you recommend this edit?
Yes
Format Watched?
Digital
V
Top 500 Reviewer 26 reviews
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Overall rating
 
9.1
Audio/Video Quality
 
9.0
Visual Editing
 
9.0
Audio Editing
 
10.0
Narrative
 
9.0
Enjoyment
 
9.0
I greatly enjoyed this edit. Especially the idea of making it a mini series is incredibly. The pacing is terrific and each episode basically invites the viewer to immediately binge the next.

It reminded me how people when I ask to watch a long movie go NOOO three hours are you INSANE? But then does binge 5 episodes of a tv show for five hours lmao. I think this approach makes the Hobbit far more accessible!

Well done and if I had to nitpick it would be that the ending still feels edited, which is to be expected considering the terrible source material. I havent seen a single edit where the final battle was completely satisfying for me, but kudos because it was very creative with the flashback!
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(Updated: January 14, 2023)
Overall rating
 
8.9
Audio/Video Quality
 
9.0
Visual Editing
 
8.0
Audio Editing
 
8.0
Narrative
 
7.0
Enjoyment
 
10.0
For the origination of the episodic structure golden stars rain down on this fan-edit (and editor) eternally. Not sure about the colours on the intro and outro screens but hey its cool enough.... Gold is just better!!

Never-the-less I score the narrative down. Of course inconsistencies and holes are going to be rife when trimming off and cutting down but one in particular stands out where at Rivendell there is mention of an orc ambush, yet the last scene was the trolls. And the Galadriel scene with Gandalf not followed by any Dol Guldur, is redundant (and it's cringy)..... We must accept this wizard simply comes and goes with little to no notice at all from time to time!! Too; cringy dwarf/elf love at the soiree seeps its way in; Goblin King's 'made in Rivendell... Second Age' throw away remark is cringy; company - by order of the king - attempts to break down their magic door like imbecilic cringemeisters; and the black arrow fiasco needs to be done away with in favour of straight up arrow shot, as it is a cringeworthy moment - better to let Smaug die by surprise (explains away Thorin's cringy madness as being shock, hehe)..... Seriously, if this is 'The Anti-Cringe Cut' these issues need addressing!!

It might be an idea to aim for 4 episodes at ~50 mins and 1 final episode at ~40 mins, with illustrative credits only, and a LOTR trailer/teaser consisting of White Council footage combined with some Frodo at Bag End shots. Calling it 'The Battle of Five Episodes'... if not 'Anti-Cringe' this cringe will be fine!!!

Really appreciate the quick intro title screens and outro 'To be continued....' not breaking immersion too much during back to back play-through. Video editing on the episode title blooms was great except for slight stutters here and there, and the final one that got a different font. Audio editing needs bass depletion at times (mainly durge at begining) as it may anger neighbours.

Oh and one final thought is on the transition between 4 and 5. Definitely difficult here as it gets frantic. To me it seems as though the best end point for 4 is on Thorin's face when he sees all the elf arrows pointing at him. Beginning 5 with Bard looking to Thranduil and the elves lowering their bows. With the 'There And Back Again' title blooming at the point where Bilbo goes to Gandalf if the panning shot looking at Erebor over the spears can be slowed down?!?

User Review

Do you recommend this edit?
Yes
Format Watched?
Digital
Report this review Comments (0) | Was this review helpful? 0 0
Overall rating
 
9.6
Audio/Video Quality
 
10.0
Visual Editing
 
9.0
Audio Editing
 
9.0
Narrative
 
9.0
Enjoyment
 
10.0
Sorry for the long wait for the review, I finally finished the last episode last night.

Audio/Video Quality
Yep this was all good, I didn't notice any audio or visual quality issues.

Visual Editing
The visual editing was mostly good, however in some shots the cropping made the characters look a little stretched. It wasn't really a problem most of the time, only sometimes when the shot was a closeup.

Audio Editing
Again, the audio editing was mostly good. There was the occasional awkward transition, but these were very few and far between. The only scenes that had noticeable edits were in the 'Out of the Frying Pan' sequence and the Battle of the Five Armies. However, these are very difficult scenes to chop down, so it's understandable.

There were some really cool edits, these kind of apply to both visual and audio editing, but I'll just mention them here. I really liked the way you changed the scene where Thorin goes back to normal. I didn't even notice that the scene had been modified until the end when I realized that Smaug wasn't in it. I also really liked the flashback to the Carrock when Bilbo gets knocked out, it made the tragedy of Thorin's death much stronger and made for a really good way to introduce the eagles into the battle.

Narrative
I think you made really great use of the TV show format, every episode ended in a perfect way where it felt like an ending but I still was anticipating the next episode. However I do have some small nitpicks.

One thing I noticed in the scene where Thorin goes back to normal is that some of the stuff he remembers people saying to him are from scenes that were cut from the edit. I think it was just dialogue from the scene where him and Dwalin are talking in the throne room. This could be fixed by just including that scene right before the gold room scene.

I also found it a little strange that Bard pulled out the black arrow from his living room, but seemingly forgot to bring it with him to kill Smaug and needed his son to bring it. I understand that this is difficult to avoid due to what happens in the original films, but this could maybe be fixed by just removing the part where Bard reveals that he had the black arrow all along, and it could be implied that Bain grabbed the black arrow from the Laketown armory or something. This could be a payoff from the scene where he tells the dwarves that the black arrow knocked off one of Smaug's scales. These are only very minor flaws, the narrative as a whole was very enjoyable.

Enjoyment
I very much enjoyed this edit. It did a good job in splitting up the Hobbit movies in a way that felt right with the format, it didn't just feel like 3 movies split into 5 parts. A very well done edit!

User Review

Do you recommend this edit?
Yes
Format Watched?
Digital
B
1 reviews
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Overall rating
 
10.0
Audio/Video Quality
 
10.0
Visual Editing
 
10.0
Audio Editing
 
10.0
Narrative
 
10.0
Enjoyment
 
10.0
I promised to write this review a long time ago. Sorry to the creator it took me so long. My plan was to watch a few of the edits to be able to compare them all, but, as they say, life gets in the way sometimes.

This was my first fan-edit experience and I was totally impressed. (I hadn't seen The Hobbit films before I bought the extended editions, and it was actually how slow and dragged on the films were that triggered the web search that open my eyes to the fan-edit world.) I was completely surprised by the quality of image and sound in general, but especially how there was absolutely nothing that stood out to me to make me think these were anything other than original Hollywood released DVDs. Well done!!!

I burnt the 5 episodes to DVD in order to watch with my kids. The episode format was fantastic for that purpose, so thank you! Yours was their first experience in the HobbitLOTRTolkien universe! In general, I think the episodes are way better than having to sit thru a 3+ hour movie.

User Review

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Yes
Format Watched?
DVD
J
1 reviews
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