October 19, 2014
Gargantuan mechas battling gargantuan monsters—these are the ingredients for Awesome Sauce, except for what felt like a gargantuan theatrical run time. (I fell asleep watching the original version, but in my defense, I had just escaped three weeks of sleepless torment by the Porcupine People, bastards one and all.)
In comes Ranger Kris with his nuclear-powered buzz saw, and gone is more than half an hour of bloat, leaving a lean popcorn flick that's, by gosh, even popcornier. I would have preferred even more slicing, including the already thin father-pilot-son-pilot subplot. Also, some judicious cutting could have eliminated the telecommunication between the Shatterdome control room and the pilots who crossed over to the kaiju dimension, because really, you don't want Facebook to know what you're doing over there.
The addition of the faneditor's name at the start and end of the movie was notable for being stylish and bold, as it should be in a movie of this sort. Image quality was superb except for the credits, which were juddery as hell. But fuck, who cares about the credits? Because there be monsters and robots to behold.
This is the kind of movie I would have fapped to in my childhood. As soon as I take over the Porcupine People's time machine, I'm going back to deliver this fanedit to my six-year-old self, who probably won't know what to do with the USB stick. Guess I've got a to haul a flat screen, too.