Fantastic concept which is really interesting despite varying degrees of "working" for me. Of the two stories, the fantastical cut only works narratively if you're familiar with the original. And there were a couple shots (Mercedes grabbing the knife, for example) which stuck out as not belonging here. Conversely, the 'real life' version worked extremely well for me. It focuses on the themes of living up to heroism in a time with no war, which was among my favorites of the film itself. This edit doesn't do anything new, but it does break apart the themes of the theatrical cut into two, to good effect.
Technically, couple awkward fades and a couple of flash subs, not perfect but nothing major.