Star Trek: Echoes of Lament

CUTS FIRST, Then all other changes WHICH IS SPOLIER HEAVY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!!

CUTS
2 Movies
2h 30ish min each
2.5 hours removed (YUP!)
900+ changes
Subtle score enhancements
Characters Improved (all of them)
Dead ends removed
New sequences
New opening
New ending
NO MAGIC "fix anything" DEVICE
Believable villains (no cartoon like)
No Silly French Accent
F bombs (2 left)
New establishing shots
In the style of Classic Movies
Data fixed
re-sequencing
3 act structure to both films
Needless exposition removed
and much, much more.



CHANGES

SPOILERS FOLLOW





SPOLIERS BELOW




OK, DONT SAY YOU WERE NOT WARNED:



STAR TREK PICARD
Part 1: ECHOES of LAMENT
Run Time
2Hrs 28min 00 Sec

001 - FANEDIT LOGO with added Ambient Space rumble AND A PAN, ZOOM AND CROP
004 – Crossfade to AIA, Planet of Grief flashback from Ep 8 opening
006 - Custom captions first revealing it is 2350, then AIA, THE GRIEF PLANET with a custom minor zoom and pan on the planet to better center the reveal and the caption alignment
018 - 13 alterations to dialogue and images in this scene so that OH is seen at the end ONLY, less mumbo jumbo and a shortened Admonition removing the Starfleet logo, too many rock hits too heads, the LOW RES famous time-lapse of the decomposing fox (what is that doing in here) is removed etc. Lines like “dreaded” are removed. Don’t tell viewers it is frightening, SHOW US! Better still, don’t tell us anything about it so we are shocked by the aftermath…DUH!
019 - Ronda is not revealed as Narissa’s aunt since this thread is complete and that thread is excised from this edit. Ronda tells us what she we need to know when Soji questions her much late. Further, having this try to soften Narissa is poorly judged. Let’s just have her be evil coz she saw the admonition and is a “believer” etc.
021, Caption replaced with a new reveal 2385 in the lower center thus removing “14 years ago” caption, with a zoom crop to better center the scene
023 - Then UTOPIA PLANITIA SHIPYARDS, MARS caption appear, thus ALL the required backstory is told pre credits in under 7 min (one bond movie had a 15 min pre credit sequence “ The World is Not Enough”). Rumors are, No Time to Die is 20 min!!!
025 - Intro of synths trimmed to remove inappropriate tone and sarcasm “morning plastic people”.
030 - Crew discussion about “creepy synths” etc. removed. Just not very Roddenberry. Yes, the world has changed but does everybody have to behave like a dick?
032 - Arrival of Synth at mess is truncated
036 - Further section of crew discussion removed and disguised by ship take-off being continuous. This was obviously meant to be one sequence of shots which were not edited that way. Once shot is flipped.
038 - Start of the synth attack is more abrupt
040 - End of attack includes a shot of Mars burning from the Ep 3 recap (the shot was not used in Ep 2) that led to Starfleet, thus the shot is repurposed.
042 - Additional flashback effect and Scolex sound FX to segue to Ep 3 flashback of Picard and Raffi at Starfleet
044 – Raffi’s initial “did you hit them with” is borderline childish, not professional even if she is close to Picard. Toy are in uniform, behave as if you are.
045 – Picard’s line about “coding” is removed (it’s poorly delivered and feels odd). Also removed the first JL. They are on duty…It’s SIR. Even Riker stuck to protocol, but the third JL, stays…It’s a personal moment.
046 – Picard’s Line about the plan being “unfeasible” and Raffi’s question “what happened in there JL” is removed. She asks him twice in the original. It’s obvious this was an alternate take with Raffi asking “what happened” without the JL. It interrupts the flow of the scene. In fact removing the first question allows Picard to calm himself down without intervention, and we see Raffi’s reaction rather than her interjection. More powerful as a storytelling device.
047 – Raffi’s bitching at the end is trimmed in two places (“to hell with them “Is removed since the body language is a tad glib) as is another Raffi moan (too whinny, the Admiral just got canned…show SOME respect).
So now, the first time she addresses Picard by name it is Jean Luc, and then at the JL, which during their joint pain reveals their close…it’s not thrust upon us before we even have a chance to get to know Raffi.
048 – The fade to black includes accustom pan to take the camera down towards Picard who bows his head. I missed that action every time I watched this and by putting in small pan and zoom we see him drop his head which ends the scene an emotional end beat it needs befor the Title music. Tougher to get right than it sounds because the shot already has a pan on it so you the viewer don’t miss the ship taking off on the right, which had to be kept in due to the audio. The shot originally cuts to black!
050 - Custom titles using Alternate Take of main theme from STTMP (heavier on Tubular Bells, softer Horns)
051 - Rear star field public domain HD render by ALIEN COUCH POTATO [SOURCE: YOUTUBE]
052 - Opening credits fades into Ep 1 opening, with initial part of transition slowed to permit crossfade
054 – All shots of Data have slight vertical squeeze applied to them of about 8% to slim his face slightly and tone down the bloated look. Then, because the shot no longer fits the frame, a slight zoom, 8% is applied. Picard and long shots are not altered. Why 8%, anymore and the zoom noticeably degrades the image when zoomed and Data also starts to look odd the other way (eyes become squashed), plus it needs to intercut with the unaltered shots, which could be zoomed to match (with no squeeze applied) but the imperceptible slight softness of Data implies a dream, as we begin to suspect before the sequence ends.
055 - DELETED - Soji Boston (3 shots repurposed for a New Intercut sequence later)
056 – Crossfade to Chateau Picard is replaced with “CHATEAU PICARD, EARTH 2399”. Date is known AND REVEALED AT END OF CAPTION.
057 - Custom wipe on the Caption as the window opens (Nice).
060 – Opening shots are cross faded with a shot from Ep2 of Château which is reverse played to get correct pan and crossfaded back to a later point in Ep1.
061 - French dialogue by Picard to Dog (number 1) is removed (felt awkward). Whole sequence DELETED.
062 - Opening of Chateau cross faded to a later scene which introduces the Romulan Laris
063 - Second half of Chateau open is removed, namely no breakfast for Picard
064 - Laris scene jump cuts to pre-interview following Picard’s reference to being “talked into it”. This is more cinematic in style and tone and gets the story moving along.
068 - Interview is trimmed to remove repetition
070 – A continuity error is fixed where the hand at Picard’s mouth switches from left to right in consecutive shots. Corrective FLIP is applied.
072 – Cutaway shot of two crew members is removed, was presumably inserted to disguise the continuity error
073 – The word “downright” is removed to give more punch to Picard statement “downright criminal”. It’s very pompous and old fashioned (as in Victorian).
076 – 3 further trims are made to the sequence.
078 – Dhaj now has a vision of Picard while watching the interview broadcast from the street
079 – The entire Dhaj BOSTON attack at her apartment is removed. It’s got a cheesy opening and feels out of place. Some shots are used later for a flashback.
082 – New crossfade from interview end to Chateau created to smooth transition and removal of ad-break crescendo (there are many of these).
093 – As Dhaj tells Picard of her ordeal, there are now 4 inserted flashbacks to tell the viewer the story. This keeps the extent of her prowess a mystery, keeps the viewer interested and is more dramatic. It also replicates the style adopted throughout Picard of mixing two events into one scene thus establishing early on this type of editorial style. Scolex and other sound effects added and flash wipes on the first.
095 – Data’s face is corrected in the second dream to look more like we recall by again applying an 8% horizontal squash and then compensating zoon/pan which cropped and aspect ratio corrected.
096 - Dhaj Mother scene deleted
097 – The establishing shot of Golden Gate Bridge uses a later music more appropriate to Picard’s first visit to any Starfleet facility in some time.
098 – The shot of the teleporter gates is shortened to enable it to be used in two scenes using different portions
099 – The caption is replaced since the original caption did not read well against the background
101 – The following two shots entering the Museum are trimmed slightly to enable the music transition with an added cross fade
104 – Picard walks into the Archive alone (steeps added). INDEX discussion doesn’t tell us anything we don’t get to hear again later in the Archive when Picard calls the index. The shot is cropped to remove INDEX
106 – The shot of the door opening has the sound replaced and the thud of the door closing is toned down (it sounds as if the wooden doors thumped when opened by a stage hand and the sound was left in, in error)
107 - Close up of the Banner in Picard’s archive is removed. He’s not THAT sentimental…
109 – Dhaj scanning for Picard is removed. We find this out in the very next scene so we don’t need to see it
110 - Picard’s salutation to Dhaj outside the Museum is muted and replaced with ambient sound
And the end of the music cue that originally terminated the previous scene.
111 - Picard’s line about a “positronic alarm clock” is removed. It’s technobabble, repeats the previous line of dialogue. Emphasis comes from delivery not repetition (plus it was poorly delivered)
114 - Picard awakening, Laris’s comments are trimmed also removing the shot of the Poster from the Archive is replaced with a shot that actually relates to the voiceover better
125 -Picard Laris reconstruction is DELETED (intercut A) but some shots retained for a new sequence removing the whole visit Dhaj’s Boston apartment. The sequence is dis-assembled. Thus the “look back in time gadget” is removed. It is almost as silly as the Spore Drive and the information it reveals it is not plot crucial.
132 – The Zhat Vash discussion is trimmed to remove some clunky dialogue and non-plot critical exposition (and thus less cringe worthy). She was wearing a cloak IS REMOVED.
138 - A lot of dialogue edits are disguised by music and over the shoulder shots from unused portions of the scene to retain continuity.
140 – Jurati’s laugh is removed. Let’s make her a tad more serious on a first meeting a retired Admiral.
141 - The walk to the door is removed. Cut to door opening with overlapping door lock sound….
142 - Dialogue about passing time in the lab is removed
143 - Line about B4 being an inferior copy, is removed.
144 - Jurati’s emotional pause about Maddox is removed. We should find this out later as a surprise though we already suspect. This will impact viewing more effectively when she does what she does.
145 – Picard re-stating that a simulation “no-one makes synths anymore” is inane so therefore removed. Smacks of not treating your audience as if they are not reasonably educated. This was the very last change made during the proof checking of converted locked renders…the line and its delivery just annoyed me (REMOVE).
146 – Picard’s “essence “line (and Jurati’s repetition) is removed. Felt oddly delivered and JUST zero non-sense.
147 - Reclamation site caption is replaced with a custom wipe to mirror the earlier caption at Chateau Picard.
149 - – Narek and Soji’s meeting removes some clumsy dialogue and a line from a later Ep 2 scene (@I’d like to see you work’) is matched to a medium shot to permit a jump cut to that scene from Ep 2 which is in turn followed by an earlier line when Soji and Narek are speaking to a recruit “the institute is eager to the fruits of your work Dr”.
150 - The ep 2 scene of Soji working is intercut with a scene from Ep 3 where Hugh is observing her. This also facilitates removing a chunk of the work scene. Hugh appears sinister at this point, increasing the tension later.
151 – Picard’s arrival at Starfleet HQ uses the earlier music cue unheard in this edit at this point since it is more in tune with an arrival (from his visit to the Archive and is re-cut to accommodate).
153 – The unused portion of the teleport gate is used here rebuilding the transporter audio since the music cue used does not have that audio in place (it’s the TNG transporter sped up 400%...I checked, if you slow down the sound from the earlier scene, BINGO! Luckily, have that folley on a CD).
154 - Picard arrival at Starfleet Reception DELETED The Scene at reception is sort of a nice idea, but that kind of “you are no longer relevant, your old etc. type scene is poorly executed (cliché), too contemporary and to think that in 300 years they are handing out VISITOR badges still!! There should at least be an App to give you access…it felt just awkward. So now it’s gone!
NOTE: This was in the edit till the near end. When it was, the final 2 shots when arriving at were switched so that the arrival ends on Picard walking away and not on the Enterprise D thus facilitating a jump cut over a door chime. Now the door chime overlays the pre-entry shot.
155 – The F Bomb delivered by Clancy is removed. An additional piece of dialogue is removed.
156 – Clancy and OH’s discussion are now back to back with her chat with Picard, with a closing crescendo added at the end
158 - Soji Cadet Narek Scene is completely removed apart from a Line of dialogue transferred to an earlier later scene (voice overlay “we like to see the progress of your work”)
159 – The Picard Jurati’s meeting at the château is shorter and has a new opening transition.
167– There is no longer a derogatory remark about Science Fiction. Picard now offers tea first and then thanks her for visiting facilitating the removal of Jurati’s line about “dragging herself away” from her lab (really, aren’t you committed?). Tad more serious & British!!! Fancy not offering tea befor drilling someone for information.
168 - Picard & Comm badge scene uses only 3 SHORT shot. Rest deleted
169 – Soji meeting Hugh has a new intro sequence of the Borg cube. Ep 3 scene repurposed.
171 – The discussion with Hugh is shortened to make Hugh seem evasive, thus we are still not sure if he is a good guy, maintaining uncertainty for later. Ep 3
172 – Jump back to Ep 2 meeting between Oh and Rizzo (Larissa)
174 - The discussion is missing the apology from “Rizzo” (Larissa) and the subsequent discussion about “undercover”. The last part of OH’s comments regarding “your career” now plays over a different shot of Oh but appears lip synced as does the earlier Narek dialogue replacement due to the McGurk Effect (already used once in this edit…can you spot it?).
NOTE: The McGurk effect. The visual information a person gets from seeing a person speak changes the way they hear the sound and vice versa. It is very powerful.
178 – Discussion ends with a new sound FX segue cutting to shot of clock at Chateau and music crescendo taken from Star Trek First Contact CD 09 –The Dish
180 – IN order for continuity to work with Picard not seated, some shot repurposing takes place and a slow zoom and pan on the clock has been added to emphasis he is in the reflection of the clock face. This was done to change the greeting and establish a much more somber atmosphere.
181 – Picard is not seated when Dr arrives. Scene intro is restructured to accommodate.
183 – The Dr no longer reminisces with Picard.
185 - Scene cuts to Larissa Narek at mid-point. This removes an obvious cut to black ad break
191 – Narek’s line “I’m on top of it” is removed as is Larisa’s reaction glancing at the bed. In this version of Picard, it will take time for Narek to sleep with Soji; it also then lends more credibility to his falling in love later. It was always jarring that Soji just leapt into bed with Narek with little or no pre-amble. Call me old fashioned but she’s in bed with him the second time we see them 4 scenes in to episode 2.
192 – Return to the Picard Dr discussion with the Dr’s flaky comments removed.
193 – Stargazer comments are removed. This is supposed to be hard hitting stuff.
195 – Laris moaning at Picard is shortened to remove a little over the top dramatics and reaction shots.
196 – Only a portion of the scene with Picard looking at his comm badge is used which…
199 – … permits a nice INTERCUT STYLE per other parts of Picard and then a TREK style jump to his arrival at Raffi’s ranch. 3 trimmed shots are used overlaid with the audio from the scene. Much more dramatic. THIS WAS THE LAST SCENE DROPPED BACK IN DURING PROOFING, AND ONLY 9 SECS ADDED TO TIME!
200 - Vazquez Rocks caption replaced with SIERREA PELONA CANYON, CALIFORNIA, EARTH (same place, less obvious). It broke the fourth wall frankly and is not clever, nor a homage and was frankly idiotic to anyone that knew why. It is in fact ESCONDIDO CANYON, Which is actual Spanish for Hidden but in the context of this edit it would sound made up.
207 - Subsequent discussion with Raffi is highly modified since it is a clichéd bitching session, and a tad too bitter, but we keep the tone for sure. A number of trims are made to this encounter with Raffi at the rocks to give Raffi a slightly harder, non-sarcastic edge. The discussion originally ended when Picard calls out to Raffi but now segues to them having the Synth discussion
208 – Cut to Ep 3 scene where Soji interview Ronda.
214 – Intro to interview is re-structured using shots from varying points to maintain continuity. We join the scene as Soji sits.
232 - Ronda’s “I know you” is now a preamble straight into the disassembled shooting sequence which was originally intercut with the Romulan attacker interrogation. Those shots are used later for a standalone interrogation for a more dramatic effect (as you will see). The shootout is now a single scene. COMPLICATED to pull off. One shot of Soji rushing to Ronda (to disarm her) has been flipped to correct an inexplicable continuity error in the source material.
237 – Ronda cuts to the Picard and Raffi discussions with a flash wipe to a repurposed shot of Vazquez Rocks, in reverse to indicate we are no longer at Raffi’s trailer. The shot is de-saturated to better match the location itself but retaining the original audio.
242 - The initially non-scored section when Picard apologizes, now has the tail end of the transition music segue from the Vazquez rocks reveal and then a short 30sec snippet from “His Plans-Data & B-4” – from Star Trek; Nemesis CE 1 - Jerry Goldsmith, which transitions to the score kicking in when Picard mentions the Tal Shiar…fortunately, the music is all in the same key!
251 – The next scene is Oh and Jurati but this is no longer truncated per the series Ep 3 and is edited together with the full scene from Ep 7. As a viewer we need to know the whole thing, thus creating tension for us as we know she is going to do something bad.
252 – Lifelong dream comments, removed. We know she is into this and Jurati’s line later in Ep 10 carries more weight without the frontloading. Not everything everyone will do or say needs to be foreshadowed and why would Oh even give a F***.
253 - OH’s “fractal neuronic cloning” is removed.
254 - Picard calls Raffi on pad deleted
255 – Fade to Rios Picard meeting and end early with Raffi researching Freecould,
256 – Crossfade to Narek Soji with Narek. This scene removes the call with Soji’s @mother’ and starts with awaking, giving the impression she is recovering from Ronda’s attack and shows Narek @caring’ in context of what comes later.
257 -Narek Soji chat over a drink is DELETED
262 – Picard’s discussion with Laris shortened and merged with later scene of cheese handover prelude to shoot out/fight with the Romulan assassins. Music truncation used to heighten surprise.
264 - Scene ends with Jurati (ep 3) being led away by Picard, then cut back to Ep 2 and Narek HAS slept with Soji.
278 – 16 edits and a lot of sound work dismantle the Romulan hitman’s sequence into one scene now.
The intercutting removal of the assassin at Picard’s Chateau involved highly complex audio work.
279 - Music sting taken from Alien 3, Elliot Goldenthal, score special edition cd track 10 Bait and Catch
280 – Some slow-mo added for both dramatic end and time needed for sting to play out. The music tempo is deliberately truncated for shock value since the tempo has created an expectation the scene will continues and then surprise with the sudden end and a new fade to black (not an ad break) which allows for a pan left in the dark to reveal the next scene.
282 – Over exposition by Jurati removed from her joining the crew.
284 – Raffi’s line about hitching a ride is removed, since she will never get to reveal the “son” sub plot. In this edit, we can work out she had some substance issues from the material remaining. We do not need a clichéd sub plot of the abandoned son.
287 – “No obligation” line is also removed. Her “not joining” just plays out as if she is not “attaching” to Picard per-se. Her line about Maddox plays over a reverse angle shot to remove other dialogue
289 – New transition to Borg establishing shot
290 Jurati’s exposition about SPACE is shortened
291 – Jurati’s reference to her father is removed, to make her a tad harsher
293 – Picard’s chat with the holo is shortened a tad in two places
295 – Raffi’s INSANE chat with Picard is shortened a tad AND Jurati’s second line “can anyone else join” is removed which also permits correct continuity on Raffi dropping her head in to her hand.
296 – F BOMB ABOUT Holo, removed (very late removal at the proofing stage)
298 – Female warrior nuns ref is removed since the Elnor story is shortened and we don’t need that level of silliness in the dialogue. I’m trying to keep the foremost synth engineer not being a ditsy blonde.
300 – Picard’s exposition about the Quota Millat is shortened (comes across a tad preachy)
301 –Cut to Larissa Narek chat about Soji is shortened
302 – Jump from ep 4 to ep 6 scene with Soji chatting with mum and passing out
311 – Arrival at Vashti with Caption added to establishing shot of planet moved from another part of the episode. A re-used Sirena ship shot is flipped and cropped.
313 - Ambient space rumble is added
314 – An establishing shot of the Vashiti surface and settlement from afar is used from THE FLASHBACK SEQUENCE ON Vashti with a new caption.
318- Both shots are cropped to remove the old caption
319 -Vashti Flashback 2 deleted
320 – Audio of Picard beam in is enhanced by sound FX from ST Generations CD Special edition “transporter” audio sped up 200%
321 -Picard arrives at Romulan Settlement is a completely removed
321 -Soji watching Ronda Video is removed
322 – On the close up of Elnor a new flashback sequence has been created from the intro of Ep 4
324 – Transition scolex effect added with overlapping audio segue of young Elnor and flash crossfade
326 – The flashback is trimmed for pacing and reordered for logic; initial chat with nun is trimmed in two places
327 – A short segment of Picard and the nun up to Elnor appearing.
334 – Elnor’s childhood fighting is shortened for impact and then a new exit transition create back to a close up of Picard (an earlier shot in reverse) after hearing about the Mars attack
336 – This now cuts to Jurati Maddox scene with Jurati watching video of her and Maddox. It is slightly trimmed
337 – Picard comms with Rios slightly shorter re: returning to the Sirena
338 -Narek Soji Socks in corridor is DELETED with extreme prejudice
340 – Further Picard discussion with nun is trimmed in two places to tone done exposition
361 – Picard and Elnor’s discussion is modified to permit some “Echoes of Lament” but with trims to petulance and audio fixes, closing shot moved to disguise fade out and Picard's "hmmm" and "one called dahj" and a few more to keep the tension. Also trimmed the first "why do you need me" plus removed and the crap about the cat...Later we see a cat (at synthville) and there is no pay-off that the line was designed to set up...(so much to consider). Scene continues to my non-confrontational Beam in fix...thus removing the murder.
362 - Picard walk and settlement fight are completely removed for very obvious reasons but especially because they do not serve the narrative of this film. I want Elnor to be more likeable and his abilities to be revealed when we REALLY need to see NOT just to satisfy a pointless cold blooded decapitation with no foundation.
366 – Beam back to Sirena is off camera in order to remove the row Picard and Elnor have so they appear fine when they board. This makes Elnor’s character mysterious, and more sympathetic. He hasn’t killed anyone yet, so that is good, since we are not annoyed by the apparent blasé attitude to chopping off heads nor Picard’s gross under reaction to the scene which frankly would have Elnor arrested by Picard or thrown into the brig pending arrival at Starbase 12, just like Jurati. Murder is murder and that decapitation is a passive plot logic hole not addressed.
368 –Beam out has a flipped shot of the Sirena and STTNG transporter effect audio and full transition rebuild.
369 – The previous Ep 4 scene is followed by a Soji Narek scene from Ep 6 in order to bring their story forward and followed by the Seven of Nine reveal which is completely unaltered save for the removal of a reaction shot of Jurati when the transporter is activated. That split second could have cost Seven her life.
370 - Seven Domes Admonition scene was already used earlier
372 -Holo greetings discussions are removed
377 – Establishing shot of Freecloud created using a color altered, flipped and cropped shot of Vulcan from Star Trek into Darkness with spaceship ambience added
379 – Bjayzl’s intro is altered, she no longer says “kill him” and the scene plays straight. Luckily she doesn't move her mouth when she says it.
380 – Picard watching the Freecloud video is trimmed slightly since it is the exact same footage we see later on the flight into Stardust City
382 – Minor trim to Raffi and Rios chat about Seven which the segues in to an Ep 6 scene of Narek and Larisa
383 – Music overlay to previous scenes end adds menace.
385 – Narek and Larisa discussion about getting to Soji’s dream cuts to Soji’s dream sequence.
392 - Soji’s dream is trimmed for pacing, in the corridor, the reveal of the lab, and the planet shots are rimmed
395 – Clearance to Freecloud and Raffi finding Maddox has 3 trims.
397 – Soji follow on unchanged just minor trims at each end
401 – Rios arrival and encounter with reptiloid removes all the nonsense about smelling a lie
402 - Picard Raffi goodbye to see son is deleted
408 – Minor trims to the heist setup to remove some clunk dialogue
409 – Rios is no longer told by the Reptoloid “I‘m not a fan of surprises”. Terrible idiom for an Alien
410 - Raffi and Son reunion is deleted since it serves no narrative purpose and we have enough character development from Raffi as is.This is a movie not a soap
417 – Picard does not utter a single word in that awful comedic French accent
418 – Jump cut to Seven bag reveal.
421 – Jurati’s conversation with Rios about transporting is re-ordered and trimmed in 3 places
426 – The ad break after Picard says “everyone has finally stopped” is removed. His line remains, with some sound and music work to smooth over
428 – One of the 3 flashback shots during Seven’s recap to the team is replaced with part of two of the controversial more graphic shots used in the Eps 5 Flashback intro.
429 - Picard Raffi in quarters deleted
425 – Seven’s shoot out is completely removed. It violates the journey she is on and she still will kill later which makes her redemption and assimilation more powerful.
445 – This transition using custom Foley, additional music cues and a slightly trimmed intro to the sickbay with Picard’s awful line “they really worked you over” removed. The shot of Jurati that dialogue plays over this is removed so that the later reveal she is listening has a more dramatic effect.
454 – Rios mention of the stowaway is removed as is Picard going to Raffi’s room, since we can assume when said “after Freecloud, you’re on your own” was Raffi being just petulant…
455 – Emulating the intercut style of a number of scenes and to make a smooth bridge of material in two episodes to play as one scene, Jurati’s actions on Maddox are intercut with her later conversation with Picard thus removing an episodic crescendo .
456 - Rios Jurati Chat-up Kiss is DELETED Holding off Rios kiss to Jurati works well as a culmination to their build-up and is not a scene which jars any longer given the removal of the earlier encounter on the Sirena.
465 - Picard seeing himself as Locutus is enhanced by overlaying the Audio from the TNG episode The Best of Both Worlds Part 1 “I am Locutus of Borg, Your life as you knew it is over”, creating a great cliff-hanger.
467 – Cut to Sirena in warp tunnel slowed to 50%
468 –“To be concluded” caption added
469 - TNG Theme music playout
474 – Fan edit credits added in four places including additional music and additional materials credit