October 27, 2012
Theatrical releases: I loved The Fellowship of the RIng. It was magical, and if it were a pillow, I'd hold it between my thighs every night. The Two Towers was rather OK—it did the job, but I wasn't in love. But The Return of the King was a true stinker in my eyes. . . er, nose. Aside from a few scenes that took my breath away, it seemed like a showcase for WTFish creative writing (for shame, Boyens & Walsh) and stupid CGI tricks.
In rides Mukankakuna with his Big Kahuna scissors, and now we get to see a refined version of RotK that's largely free of cringe. Denethor the Donkey Kong fireball? Extinguished. Legolas the tusk rider, Denethor the messy eater, Frodo the dismisser—all expunged, righteously expunged. No offense to Sharkey and Hal9000, but what remains is a purist edition of the movie that's even more puristy than the Sharkey editions. Yeah, whoa.
It's been a while since I've spun the RotK EE discs, so I'm sure I didn't notice all the changes and cuts. But what I saw didn't jar me out of my Middle Earth experience, and when hankering for a Lord of the Rings fix, I couldn't ask for anything more.
Enjoyjoy: 9 pelvic aero-thrusts.
P.S. Does anyone know why orcs sneaking into Osgiliath need to carry so many torches?