Kirk Kills

Kirk Kills
Faneditor Name:
Fanedit Type:
Original Release Date:
1978, 1981
Original Running Time:
Fanedit Release Date:
Fanedit Running Time:
Time Cut:
Available in HD?
Brief Synopsis:
I edited Halloween (1978) and Halloween II (1981) into one 97 minute movie, with a new prologue that explains how Michael "became" Captain Kirk. William Shatner was kind enough to provide the voice of The Shape (via dialog samples). I also added a funky new soundtrack.
I'm a huge fan of John Carpenter and Willliam Shatner. I thought: Michael Myers wears a Captain Kirk mask... Why not put Kirk under the mask as well?
Other Sources:
I used a scene from the Halloween extended TV edition and two brief clips from Star Trek TOS. I sourced my Captain Kirk dialog from the original TV series and the first 6 Star Trek films. I added several new songs to the soundtrack, which play in diegetic fashion -- via car radios, etc. I used music from Steve Miller Band, Grover Washington Jr., Blue Oyster Cult, George Benson, Bad Company, Marvin Gaye, A Taste Of Honey, Donna Summer, Dazz Band, Scorpions, Rockwell, and Air Supply.
Release Information:
Editing Details:
I approached Kirk Kills like it was a "lost film" from 1982. What if Michael Myers was obsessed with Star Trek and thought he was Captain Kirk? I had to change the timeline to accommodate this. I moved the events of Halloween forward 5 years, so that young Michael could be exposed to Star Trek during its original airing on TV (1967). The rest of the film takes place in 1982, so I picked songs that would have been playing on the radio in that year. All the songs on the soundtrack parallel the action in some way, and they play counterpoint to the somber tone, turning it comedic. Michael never speaks, so I knew I would have plenty of opportunities to insert 'ADR' lines via William Shatner samples. I streamlined the flow of Halloween and Halloween II, eliminating scenes that didn't allow Kirk to quip or kill (his two favorite things to do).
Cuts and Additions:
added Darth Awesome disclaimer at beginning
new opening credits
added William Shatner dialog throughout
added new diegetic soundtrack throughout
added Star Trek theme over two scenes
Halloween is shortened to 60 minutes
added Star Trek episode #52 playing on TV
added a scene from the extended TV edition, setting up Loomis' diagnosis that Michael Myers "is Captain Kirk"
cut Laurie at school
cut Tommy at school
cut Loomis at payphone, finding dead body
cut girls' long walk back from school
cut Laurie's long walk to Annie's car
cut entire sequence of Annie being hunted (changing clothes, getting stuck in the laundry room, etc.)
cut "what's the boogeyman?" scene
cut Loomis scaring kids
cut Brackett and Loomis waiting at house
cut Laurie's "long walk" across street
New seamless transition into Halloween II
Halloween II is shortened to 35 minutes
Cut Loomis warning neighbor "you don't know what death is!"
Cut Michael killing random girl
Trimmed scene of Michael getting new knife
added Star Trek episode #40 playing on TV
Cut Laurie being picked up by ambulance
Cut every interaction between Laurie and Jimmy
Cut mom and razorblade kid arrival
Cut all character development for hospital staff
Trimmed Loomis and Sheriff dialog in cop car
Cut Sheriff finding Annie's body
Cut Deputy Hunt and Loomis' return to Myers house
Cut "phones are dead" sequence
Cut death scenes for Miss Alves, Mr. Garrett, and Jimmy
Edited Marion's arrival to school
Cut all references to Samhain
Cut chase through the hospital boiler room
Trimmed Marion and Loomis' conversation in the cop car
Trimmed the operating room finale
Replaced "Mr. Sandman" outtro with new outtro
New end credits

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This could have worked as a fifteen minute short. The concept is smart but poorly executed. As a 97-minute joke this fell flat fairly quick. The editor should have really embraced the "ridiculous side" of his idea. Most of the overdubbed lines feel forced and awkward, but I can get what the joke is supposed to be.
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