Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies - Entirely Respectable Edition, The

Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies - Entirely Respectable Edition, The

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Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies - Entirely Respectable Edition, The
Faneditor Name:
Tagline:
Stop that, it's silly!
Fanedit Type:
Original Release Date:
2014
Original Running Time:
164
Fanedit Release Date:
Fanedit Running Time:
154
Time Cut:
22
Time Added:
12
Available in HD?
Brief Synopsis:
The 'Entirely Respectable Editions' seek to remove all material that is silly, overplayed, misjudged, overly comical, ridiculous and generally inconsistent with the more serious tone established in the earlier 'Lord of the Rings' Trilogy. It is not a radical restructure, or a two-film cut and does not set out to streamline narrative, quicken pacing, or remove characters and plot-threads. The more time we spend in Middle Earth the better, I just want Middle Earth to be a more sensible place while we're there.
Intention:
I was kind of glad Guillermo del Toro didn't get to Direct because as much as I love his movies, he was never going to make films that were tonally and stylistically consistent with the LoTR series... unfortunately neither did Peter Jackson. The serious, grand and relatively realistic tone of LoTR, was mixed with a new more childish, silly, comic and overblown style. Thankfully there is enough good material that a Fanedit should be able to fix everything.
Additional Notes:
"I've noticed a tendency for The Hobbit Trilogy to get rather silly. Now I'll do my best to keep things moving along but I'm not having things getting silly. The first two films got very silly indeed and that last one about the armies was even sillier. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do, except perhaps my wife and some of her friends. Oh yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that's beside the point. Now, let's have a good, clean, healthy Tolkien film. Get some air into your lungs. Ten, nine, eight and all that".
Other Sources:
- The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (Extended Edition Blu-Ray)
- The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (Theatrical Edition Blu-Ray)
- The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Extended Edition Blu-Ray)
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended Edition Blu-Ray)
- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition Blu-Ray)
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Soundtrack)
- The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (Special Edition Soundtrack)
- On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Blu-Ray)
- THX 1138: Special Edition (Blu-Ray)
- freesound.org (Various SoundFX)
- The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies - Arkenstone Edition by Kerr
Special Thanks:
Thanks to the people who gave feedback in the project thread: revstevens, jrWHAG42, moviefan95, DigModiFicaTion, douchebag, addiesin, Gaith, Nic, hbenthow, asterixsmeagol, Belgarath, ChainsawAsh and m4semperfi.

Special thanks to Kerr for allowing the use of his acorn deleted scene in this project and to Masirimso17 for his alternate rescore.
Release Information
MP4/M4V/MOV
Special Features
- 1080p MP4 Stereo 448mhz
- Bonus audio mix on second track featuring a different re-score of the Dwarf charge out of the Erebor gate, courtesy of Masirimso17.
Editing Details:
- No silliness allowed... fun yes, humour yes, silliness no.
- Lightly regraded the whole movie to make it more saturated in line with AUJ and to decrease the tints. Again the instances of "ring vision" have been de-saturated in line with LotR.
- Removed silly acrobatics involving the Dwarves (e.g. Bofur piloting a troll) but Legolas and Tauriel's acrobatics are mostly retained since they are Elves with "superhuman" abilities (as established in the previous 5-films).
- All of Gandalf's scenes at Dol Goldur from DoS form a new prologue, replacing Bard's confrontation with Smaug which featured in the last edit.
- Some very light restructuring of scene placements up 'til the battle begins, so characters jump around a little less.
- Removed a couple of mentions of "Dragon sickness". It's a more metaphorical curse on the mountain, it's the love of the Arkenstone, power and gold that corrupts Thorin. He hasn't caught the Smaug lurgy.
- Reduced the number of times Dain says "Buggers" and similar terms. I'm 100% sure it was not intentional on the part of PJ & Co but the amount of times he says it, plus other stuff like calling Thranduil a "Princess" and it begins to sound a bit homophobic.
- What has not been removed: Legolas because he's great and it makes perfect sense for him to be in a story featuring his father. Tauriel (and her romance with Kili) because she's great too, her presence allows the Elf hierarchy to be explored and wow that 'Starlight' love theme is beautiful. I've also not removed Alfrid (but he is toned way down) because he has an important role to play in making Bard's qualities shine and show the Laketown people's heroism by contrast. Things like the Wereworms and Troll-based siege engines have mostly been retained because they feel like just the kind of evil and cruel battle tactics that Orcs would employ. They really help to keep the battle visually interesting, without them, it's just wave, after wave of generic Orcs.
- Like the Master in my last DoS edit, Alfrid escapes alive. Killing him seemed unnecessarily vindictive because he's not actively evil, he is just a selfish and weak person. Bard simply gives him a bemused smile of pity and lets Alfrid depart.
- I was very sadly unable to think of a way to remove Radagast's silly rabbit sleigh from this third part. Those shots/scenes are tied into Gandalf's escape from Dol Goldur, how he gets a horse and how he gets a new staff. If you strategically blink a few times, you'll miss it.
- The Acorn Deleted Scene has been added in, replacing the scene where Thorin wonders around on the golden floor. I've used the version Kerr made for his Arkenstone edit (with his kind permission) pretty much verbatim. He cleverly brought this unfinished sequence up to snuff, with extra sound, music, completed backgrounds and snow FX. An amazing job!
- Rescored the Dwarf charge out of the Erebor gate with the Misty Mountains theme. It's nice to have a callback to this incredible heroic theme, from back when they rescued Bilbo from the troll camp. Masirimso17 has kindly provided an alternate rescore of this sequence (with a different vocal take on the MM theme). This is available on the second audio track.
Cuts and Additions:
- INTRO, DOL GOLDUR & TITLECARD:
00.00.00 - TM2YC and FE.org titlecards added.
00.00.27 - Replaced tacky 3D studio titlecards with less elaborate ones from the LotR era (from LoTR, OHMSS and THX 1138 blu-rays).
00.01.06 - Tinted the titles blue to match the look of the LotR titles.
00.01.20 - Used Hobbit title from AUJ for consistency.
00.01.29 - Rescored opening with the track 'A Spell of Concealment'. Added soundFX.
00.01.32 - Used reversed already reversed shot of Dol Goldur from later in the film to use as a new opening shot. Heavily regraded to match following footage.
00.01.36 - Inserted scene of Gandalf and Radagast arriving at Dol Goldur from DoS as the new prologue sequence.
00.03.21 - Removed 3 shots of Gandalf looking round Dol Goldur (and being watched by Thrain) to smoothly link into the first shot of the second Dol Goldur sequence from DoS.
00.09.29 - Inserted third Dol Goldur sequence from DoS, to follow the last in one complete sequence.
00.11.23 - Removed one shot of Thrain with an annoying 'wilhelm scream'. Added a new scream soundFX.
00.12.52 - Mixed in first BotFA Dol Goldur scene into the last Dol Guldor shot from DoS. Added soundFX.
00.13.12 - Mixed both scenes of Gandalf in the cage into one. Rescored with the track 'The Nature of Evil' and added drum soundFX.
00.13.40 - Brought forward scene of Azog's army marching across a plain to link in with Gandalf watching them depart, to form a new 'The Battle of Five Armies' titlecard. This early placement of the scene also serves to give an explanation of what happened to Legolas between DoS and BotFA, so his doesn't later just appear out of nowhere.
00.13.49 - Added new subtitle from Bolg "Father. I have news." to establish his relationship with Azog again.
00.13.51 - Removed 3-seconds of the army marching to remove Bolg's pointless "Woodland Elves!" subtitle.
00.14.20 - Added new subtitle from Azog "Son. Ride to Gundabad..." to further clarify their relationship.
- SHORES OF LAKETOWN:
00.14.46 - Brought forward first scene on the shores of Laketown as the new post-prologue beginning. Added soundFX.
00.14.52 - Removed a few shots of Alfrid screaming and rolling round in the water, plus trimmed shot of beach by 10-seconds.
00.15.07 - Removed shot of Alfrid screaming "Why me!".
00.15.48 - Removed 33-seconds of creepy CGI Legolas interrupting Tauriel and Kili. Remixed audio.
00.16.05 - Removed 2-seconds of creepy CGI Legolas watching Tauriel and Kili.
00.16.30 - Removed 1 shot of Alfrid shouting "I'll catch my death in this cold".
00.16.55 - Removed 10 frames of Alfrid pausing before looking round at Bard to tone down the overplayed comedy.
00.17.40 - Removed 6-seconds of Alfrid shouting "All hail to the dragon slayer". Recut footage.
00.17.47 - Removed 2-seconds of Alfrid shouting "A born leader". Recut footage.
00.18.04 - Removed Alfrid saying "No".
00.18.13 - Removed 5-seconds of Alfrid saying "I said Master, no!".
00.18.16 - Removed 10-seconds of Alfrid crying "Think of the children" and being kicked by Bard's daughter.
00.18.38 - Removed 5-seconds of Alfrid interrupting Bard's speech and Bard talking about winter.
- EREBOR, BACK AT LAKETOWN & DOL GOLDUR STRUGGLE:
00.20.18 - Removed one "Thorin" by Bilbo, so he only says it two times now.
00.21.58 - Inserted a horizontally flipped shot of Bilbo reacting to Thorin's madness before we cut to Bilbo alone outside. Rescored new transition.
00.22.00 - Removed 30-second scene of the Dawrves happily being reunited, while Thorin searches for the Arkenstone. Thorin being out of his King robes in this one sequence is a continuity problem and a thematic problem. The happy reunion is totally at odds with the sombre tone of the surrounding material.
00.22.34 - Re-saturated flashback footage.
00.22.47 - Re-saturated flashback footage.
00.22.55 - De-saturated ring-vision flashback footage (except the Arkenstone).
00.22.59 - Re-saturated flashback footage.
00.23.40 - Removed 35-seconds of Alfrid talking to Bard, him being mean to an old woman and Legolas talking to Bard. Horizontally flipped closeup of Bard and Legolas to match their new positions.
00.23.56 - Combined both Legolas scenes into one, after the Azog/Bolg scene was used earlier. Rescored new transition.
00.26.11 - Removed 4-seconds of Gandalf slapping the Orc with a chain. A bit excessive for me.
00.29.18 - Removed 7-seconds of Galadriel saying "Come back" to Gandalf. It sounds like she is saying he has actually died... what again!?
00.31.38 - Heavily brightened and regraded all shots of Galdriel when she is facing down Sauron, so she looks more like an angelic being and not a dank green swamp creature.
- BACK AT EREBOR & GANDALF AND RADAGAST:
00.33.24 - Moved 1-minute scene of Gandalf and Radagast talking to later, to give them some time to travel. Rescored new transition.
00.34.49 - Removed 2-seconds of Balin mentioning "Dragon sickness". Gold, power and general curse type stuff is enough to corrupt Thorin, not this nonsense.
00.37.23 - Inserted Gandalf/Radagast scene with some rescoring and new soundFX.
00.38.18 - Blended end of Radagast scene into arrival at Dale. Added new soundFX.
00.40.39 - Slightly zoomed 1st shot of Gandalf riding to line the composition up closer with the 2nd shot and rotated it to level out the horizon.
00.40.44 - Rotated 2nd Gandalf shot to correct the impression he was suddenly somehow riding up hill, on a vast flat plain.
00.40.46 - Added camera shake/movement to simulate the movement of Gandalf's horse, on this 3rd originally wierd static shot.
00.41.20 - Removed 1-second of Alfrid, so the end of his line plays over Bard's shot. So there is a little less focus on Alfrid.
00.47.42 - Removed 2-seconds of Bilbo doing an exaggerated double-take.
00.48.52 - Removed 3-seconds of Thranduil gazing at his sword and saying "We attack at dawn". Since it's still daylight and Bard only mentioned it being morning 7-minutes earlier it sounds like an odd statement.
00.51.12 - Removed 8-seconds of Thorin saying "One of them is false" in an over exaggerated way.
00.51.11 - Added subtle zoom in on Thorin's face.
00.54.08 - Removed Alfrid shouting "Pointy hat" at Gandalf.
00.54.17 - Removed 4-seconds of Alfrid being cheeky to Gandalf, who now cuts him off much quicker.
00.57.04 - Added new "Legions to war!" subtitle for Bolg.
00.57.35 - Added new "Forward!" subtitle for Bolg.
01.02.50 - Removed 11-seconds of Gandalf going on about "Dragon sickness" to Bilbo.
- DAWN OF THE BATTLE:
01.04.51 - Removed 3-seconds of Thorin mentioning not having paid Bard, which is obvious to everybody present.
01.05.38 - Removed Thorin saying "A filthy lie" after saying it is a "Ruse". Yes we know what that word means.
01.06.05 - Removed 9-seconds of Bilbo making a joke to Thorin about having taken the Arkenstone. Not even Bilbo is naive enough to think Thorin is going to see the funny side. Now he just calmly owns up to what he did, expecting Thorin to be reasonable. That's the right level of naivety.
01.08.46 - Removed a bad CGI shot of the armies and re-ordered the reaction shots. So it now goes Tharanduil-Thorin-Gandalf.
01.12.58 - Removed 19-seconds showing a second wave of arrows and Bow-Cutters. Added soundFX.
01.14.03 - Removed Dain saying a totally generic "Oh come on?!" line.
01.20.07 - Removed 9-seconds of Alfrid screaming "Charge" and generally carrying on in a silly fashion. Now we just see him running like a coward. Added soundFX.
01.20.40 - Adjusted closeup of Bard to stabilise the end.
01.20.43 - Removed the whole 24-second silly sequence where Bard rides a cart down a hill.
01.21.12 - Removed 10-second wide shot of Dale, to be used later. Added soundFX.
01.21.27 - Removed 17-seconds of Alfrid being silly and interrupting the emotional scene between Bard and his kids. Added soundFX. Idea copied almost exactly from kerr's inspired 'Arkenstone' edit.
01.21.29 - Removed another 3-seconds of Alfrid silliness, again copied from Kerr's edit.
01.21.35 - Removed another 3-seconds of Alfrid silliness, again copied from Kerr's edit. It couldn't be done better!
01.21.45 - Removed 9-seconds of Alfrid being silly and him being alongside Bard's kids, which was previously removed.
01.21.53 - Removed 2-second closeup of Thranduil, to be used later. Added soundFX.
01.21.54 - Added extra sword soundFX.
01.21.56 - Inserted closeup of Thranduil, matched to the action of him crashing into the Orcs. FX tweak to end to make it appear he is riding under the shadow of the gate. Added soundFX.
01.21.57 - Removed 2-seconds of Thranduil beheading a lineup of Orcs, retimed cut to make it appear he is just knocking them down. Added soundFX.
01.22.39 - Removed 3-seconds of Dain shouting "You buggers!" and re-timed cut to bring two axe swings into one fluid movement after losing his mount. Remixed soundFX.
01.23.18 - Removed 3-second shot of dead bodies to use later.
01.25.29 - Removed 6-seconds of silence and Thorin saying "Before I kill you". It's overstated. Added soundFX.
01.25.34 - Swapped Balin and Thorin's last shots so we finish on Thorin.
01.25.38 - Inserted establishing shot of Dale ravaged by battle. The same idea as in Kerr's edit. Added soundFX.
01.25.42 - Added Gandalf and Bard's deleted dialogue about the progress of the battle over the shot of Dale, which leads into the next scene.
01.25.47 - Added Kerr's version of the 2-minute Acorn deleted scene (with kind permission). All the music, audio, FX tweaks and completed background FX are his masterful work, from his Arkenstone edit. Lightly regraded to match the rest of this edit.
01.27.37 - Removed 2-minute scene of Thorin wandering the gold floor in Erebor (which didn't happen in these edits). The Acorn scene thematically replaces this scene and the edit to remove it is again replicated from Kerr's fanedit.
- THORIN RETURNS:
01.30.34 - Rescored Thorin's charge out of the Erebor gate with 'Roast Mutton' from the AUJ soundtrack. This incredible theme was sadly lacking from this film and it's inclusion is meant to symbolise the Dwarves becoming heroes again, like they were back when they charged the Trolls to save Bilbo. Added soundFX and remixed audio for the whole of the 2-minute piece. If you select audio track two, you will hear Masirimso17's alternate rescore of this sequence (with a different vocal take on the MM theme).
01.31.25 - Replaced the wide shot of the Dwarves breaking through the Orc ranks, with the slightly better one from the Theatrical Cut.
01.31.38 - Removed 6-seconds of silliness as a Troll with a catapult comically flips over and Bombur belly barges some Orcs.
01.31.40 - Moved 6-second scene of Bard coaching his men to a later point. The music and action is all about the return of our Dwarf heroes for now.
01.31.42 - Removed 6-seconds of silliness involving Bombur again. Added soundFX.
01.31.53 - Removed 6-seconds of silliness involving Ori almost killing Bofur with an axe.
01.32.23 - Removed 17-seconds of Bofur going for a ride on the Troll. Very silly indeed. Added soundFX.
01.32.26 - Inserted 6-second scene of Bard with his men, to form one new scene after the Dwarf heroics have concluded.
01.32.32 - Remixed audio to join two Bard scenes together.
01.33.06 - Removed 4-seconds of Alfrid arguing back about being caught hiding as a woman.
01.34.04 - Removed 3-seconds of Dain saying "There's too many of these buggers Thorin".
01.34.18 - Removed 6-seconds of Dain and Thorin exchanging some cliched and out of character dialogue.
01.34.27 - Inserted reversed shot of Balin slowing down the chariot. Added soundFX.
01.34.30 - Removed embarrasingly cliched "It's been a while since I've done this" line from Balin. Delivered with all the enthusiasm of an actor sitting on a green screen with no idea what is going on.
01.34.39 - Removed Dain saying the generic line "I like it".
01.34.48 - Removed Balin shot I used earlier. Added soundFX.
01.35.50 - Trimmed 1-second of the chariot rounding a corner.
01.35.54 - Removed 1.5-minute silly sequence of the chariot being attacked by a troll, who is in turn attacked by a troll being ridden by Bofor. Now there is a simple match cut to the chariot rounding a bend. This does sadly mean I've removed one of the silliest but most fun moments when Graham McTavish adlibbed the line "Shoot it in his jam bags!" and Aidan Turner couldn't help corpsing on his reply "It doesn't have any jam bags!" and they just left it in the movie!
01.36.05 - Removed silly closeup of Dwalin shouting "You hairy henchpeg" (or something). Remixed audio.
01.36.54 - Removed Dwalin saying the obvious "We're carrying too much weight".
01.37.02 - Slightly sped up the exchange between Balin and Dwalin.
01.37.37 - Removed 3-seconds of Balin saying the boringly generic line "I am too old for this".
01.38.22 - Removed 5-seconds of Alfrid comically adjusting his boobs and mentioning the "Master's mantle". Remixed audio.
01.38.41 - Inserted shots of Bard's number 2 archer retreating and firing to match into the next scene of some archers shooting at a troll. Added soundFX.
01.38.44 - Removed 1.5-minute silly sequence where Gandalf's new staff goes on the fritz, while Alfrid gets catapulted into a Troll's mouth and dies.
- RAVENHILL & FINALE:
01.40.19 - Removed 2-seconds of Bilbo saying "Where is the north exactly?", he might as well have said "Could you really spell the plot out for me please Gandalf?".
01.41.10 - Removed Thorin saying "Do not engage, do you understand?". "Engage" sounds like too modern a term in this context. The meaning of his command is conveyed by the rest of the sentence anyway.
01.42.57 - De-saturated ring-vision shot.
01.44.26 - Removed 1-minute inordinately silly sequence where Bifur gets the axe pulled out of his skull. I didn't draw attention to it being in his head in my first AUJ edit, so I'm not drawing attention to it being removed from his head either. If you spot it's missing from the last couple of shots of Bifur at the end of the film, then well done for paying attention!
01.44.30 - De-saturated ring-vision shot.
01.44.41 - Removed 9-seconds of Fili saying "I've got this". The term sounds too modern and his painfully generic anyway.
01.46.14 - Added soundFX to Fili's death, which were originally censored I assume.
01.49.33 - Removed 4-seconds of Legolas decapitating Orcs, so his move is still fun but not excessively silly.
01.52.05 - Added soundFX to Kili's death, which were originally censored I assume.
01.53.04 - Removed 3-seconds of Tauriel doing a move that looks over elaborate and fake.
01.56.52 - Removed 16-second infamous sequence where Legolas runs across falling blocks of stone. I didn't think it was that bad and I tried to improve it by speeding it up and shortning it but ultimately it could just be removed very neatly.
01.56.52 - Inserted 2 unused shots of Bolg leaping and Legolas thrusting with his dagger to cover the join where the Legolas sequence was removed. Remixed audio.
01.57.14 - Removed 1-second of Bolg being comically crushed under a boulder. He shouldn't go out on a joke.
01.58.32 - Added some camera movement to a fake looking static shot of Radagast riding an eagle.
02.04.57 - Removed 17-seconds of Martin Freeman way over playing his reaction to Thorin's death. He's mostly the best thing in these films but I didn't like this moment.
02.06.08 - Removed 12-seconds of Thranduil mentioning "Arathorn", I like the LotR tease but this was too much teasing.
02.15.41 - Added a snippet of Gandalf absentmindedly singing "...and the road goes ever on..." as he walks away. Taken from an outtake of the same scene from the bonus features.
02.33.28 - Used Warner logo from AUJ for consistency.
02.33.36 - Added fanedit credits with 'A Very Respectable Hobbit' music.

Original Runtime: 2-hours, 44-minutes
Fanedit Runtime: 2-hours, 34-minutes
Time Added: 12-minutes
Time Removed: 22-minutes
Cover art by TM2YC (DOWNLOAD HERE)
image

New Prologue


Dwarf Charge Rescored


Legolas Leaping Removal

User reviews

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Overall rating 
 
9.3
Audio/Video Quality 
 
10.0  (1)
Visual Editing 
 
10.0  (1)
Audio Editing 
 
10.0  (1)
Narrative 
 
9.0  (1)
Enjoyment 
 
9.0  (1)
Overall rating 
 
9.3
Audio/Video Quality 
 
10.0
Visual Editing 
 
10.0
Audio Editing 
 
10.0
Narrative 
 
9.0
Enjoyment 
 
9.0

TM2YC wraps up the Entirely Respectable Hobbit trilogy with rousing success. Much like the previous two installments, this edit of The Battle of the Five Armies is nothing short of fantastic from beginning to end, especially in terms of editing and A/V quality. For anyone who wished these Hobbit films more closely resembled the tone of The Lord of the Rings, all three of these edits come highly recommended.

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