To addiesin, Brumous, thecuddlyninja, dangermouse, DominicCobb, Garp, jswert12345, MackerelSkyLtd, ThrowgnCpr, TM2YC, TV’s Frink, Vultural, and yoshif8tures.
And to Mel Gibson and company for telling the story in Aramaic and Latin instead of English.
Cover imagery by Banksy, Vectorportal, and Paramount Pictures.
- Commentary track
- More than 600 new subtitles which tell an alternate story
- Custom end credits
- Miraculous ear reattachment and its aftermath
- A touch of priestly violence
- Judas’s return of payment (too late, dude)
- Some of the devil children scenes
- Mary’s telepathic communion with incarcerated Jesus
- The visit to King Herod’s court
- Heaps of violence and sadism
- Demonic midget, awesome though he is
- Crown of thorns being smacked into place
- Centurions spitting on Jesus
- Mary and Mary Magdalene’s janitorial services
- Flashback stoning of a hottie
- Much of the cross walk and related torment
- Young Jesus tumbling, helicopter mom
- The sympathetic lady who shows off Jesus’s bloody facial print
- The outrage of Simon of Cyrene
- Mary, Mary Magdalene, and John arriving at Golgotha
- Nail hammering
- Shoulder dislocation
- More hammering
- The floating crucifix miracle (some miracle; Jesus still dies)
- Much of the cross-raising scene and the accompanying triumphant music
- Soldiers enjoying a diversion
- Jesus receiving moisture
- Earthquake, temple rift, holy lance scene, Pharisees freaking out
- Jesus takedown and the motherly camera staredown
- Resurrection and the accompanying triumphant music
Didn't see the original as heard it is a bloody mess, both literally and the other literally, but as the author asked me to leave a review here goes:
Edit quality is top notch, no visible glitches or weird transitions, both audio and video. As the movie uses a lot of poetic/artisan shots with theatrical gestures/highlights and dramatic music it is an achievement in itself. The only thing that stuck out was the narrative and I'm not sure if the material was so over the top that this was a normalized version, or the the other way around. Most of the time characters and their motivations were consistent, but it somehow drifted. I'm not a believer, so atheist jokes did not offend me, want to make that clear as it has to have an impact on how people see this fanedit. The christology was clearly johannine with jesus being the preexistent equal to god (from where a lot of good jokes were sourced when he's praying to himself, Patripassianism resurrected). Maybe it was just my mind that drifted away, but with everyone discussing church issues I was thinking that a good opportunity was missed, since all dialogue is in language noone understands even getting markan jesus where he gets deified at baptism would be possible? If he was a little less over the top his mental illness would be believable maybe? (if you look at most likely historical jesus he was just an apocalyptic teacher expecting the end of the world and cosmic judge to come soon and restore the kingdom of god and not sure what the original ending was, but that mistaken/doubting jesus is even in the new testament, preexisting god wouldn't call to himself 'why have I forsaken myself', video material was there, sorry for going on a tangent)
TL;DR Edit was great technically, lots of good jokes, as some other reviewers mentioned based on the trailer one would expect this to not work for a full time run, but it did, different point of views were brought up to provide enough of a variety, just my own issues prevented me from enjoying it fully
I have no idea what ssj does for a day job, but I really hope someone is paying him a large sum of of money to make people laugh. The concept behind this edit seems like it might make a funny 3 or 4 minute clip but would get really tiresome over the course of a feature length movie. And that's where ssj's comedic gift shines through. It's funny end to end. Funnier than most "comedies" released these days. And I'll just assume it was technically edited well, because I was laughing too damn hard to notice anything out of place. With fanediting, once you have the basics down, it's fairly easy enough to take source material, cut out the stuff you don't want, and present something new. But to do that and then take it a step further by rewriting the script (you really should have given yourself a screenwriting credit at the end) to the point where the entire concept is flipped on its head and becomes a brilliant satire of itself? Damn. We're looking at some next level shit right here. Well done, ssj.
Hilarious edit. My wife and I didn't get to this in time for Easter which is fine since we don't believe in bunnies. At least I watched this on a Sunday for maximum damnation. We both laughed out loud many times. I preferred this to ssj's excellent Crouching Dragon - that one was hilarious in a really out there, "random" way. This one is coherent and humorously skewers religious dogma throughout. *Unrelated to edit* I will absolutely never watch the ubercheap DVD I picked up of 'Passion of the Christ' but HOLY BALLS THE REAL MOVIE WITH NO SUBTITLES IS INSANE.
Anyway, ssj doesn't just take cheap shots. He makes some damn good points throughout. But most importantly, it's funny. There are so many great lines that I can't wait to rewatch just to catch. We were often laughing really hard and not reading. Some of my favorites that I recall are Mel Goblin and Grimpson, Fig tree hater, the Jesus Christ Superstar references, "End psychic transmission," and my favorite thing in the whole movie (that my wife and I have been saying to each other constantly since yesterday: "queue - the - f$#@ - up." Great job!
P.S. Was that a version of the Crouching Dragon trailer music played over the end credits? That track was really catchy so it stood out to me.
God is dead because ssj killed him.
This fanedit was absolutely hysterical. I liked it just a smidge more than ssj's first edit, "Crouching Dragon - The Tiger Lily Cut". Highly recommended for anybody who can have a laugh at Yeshua.
Bonus points for a very well spoken audio commentary track.
I was a big fan of ssj's Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon "Tiger Lily" Edit. So when he announced he was tackling another edit my ears perked up. The trailer hooked me.
The edit. Props to ssj for basically writing a new script for a movie. I can't imagine the amount of time and effort that went into creating all these subtitles (I still need to rewatch with the audio commentary).
Picture quality looked good to my untrained eye. Audio editing was seamless.
Narrative was good. I like ssj's sense of humor but humor is subjective (obviously) and some people might not care for it. On top of that ssj deals with the delicate subject of religion. If you're easily offended, be warned..this edit is probably not for you. ssj delivers comedy in one hand while dishing out criticism and pointing out the hypocrisy of religion.
Where ssj's real talent shines is in the "phonetic transliterations" (not really sure what else to call it - kind of like the reverse of Bad Lip Reading). He incorporated these into his Crouching Tiger edit and they show up again in Godsmacked.
Thanks for this edit ssj! This is the only way I will ever revisit The Passion.
Rating: three out of three *insert something funny here*