December 09, 2013
As you should know, the Resident Evil movies have been getting progressively more absurd with each instalment.
Stupid yet fun action went utterly ridiculous. Characters went from somewhat developed to flat video-game cameos.
Dialogue went from cringe-worthy lines 'here and there' to atrocious throughout. Story-writing went from derivative to immature rip-off.
Too many sets and action pieces replaced by CGI etc.
As such, I knew right away that I wasn't going to enjoy my time with Biohazard: Uprising as much as I did with Aztek463's first Biohazard project.
Sometimes I don't know why I'm a fan of these movies, especially considering the adjectives above...
The result is, Biohazard: Uprising is still not a particularly enjoyable watch, I simply feel too many aspects of the originals are unsalvageable.
That said, with some beers and a couple of friends it won't be a bad experience... It just might not be a very good one either.
Into the nitty-gritty for those of interest:
Let's start with the opening. Not sure why Aztek463 decided to go with a scene from the end of Afterlife, especially considering the numerous changes throughout his Biohazard series that place things in a more chronological order.
The original opening was kinda cool, a bit slow and inconsequential, probably would have been a neat intro to Retribution rather than Afterlife. Without the scene, the later tie-in in the Tokyo portion of Retribution is less of an 'oh-cool' moment and more just 'zombies be happening'.
Confused why this change was made.
New credits and titles look good, new "My name is Alice" prologue is fine.
Lots of great minor cuts and tweaks all over. Cannot understate this.
I remember being quite dumbfounded by the clone attack sequence when I first saw Afterlife; Paul W.S. Anderson states outright that he's given up on putting legitimate effort into this franchise.
We're treated with a big poorly done Matrix franchise rip-off and all the clones are killed off immediately after they had any usefulness. Enough ranting though.
At the part where Alice uses her mind powers to tear up the floor, there is an unnecessary fade to white after the car windows are blown out, and the fade back in is just as ugly and pointless.
I'm hoping it's just something Aztek didn't think to cut as opposed to added-in but the result is the same: it doesn't work and shouldn't be there.
At-least some of the awful dialogue is gone, Wesker isn't as dumb, and the worst offender of perhaps the entire franchise: "Hey boys, is that any way to treat a lady?" is missing.
And I do mean 'missing', as what's left is a little confusing to watch. Perhaps Aztek could have put the portion "hey boys" or just "hey" over earlier footage before cutting to the clones shooting.
The whole injection to lose powers then later to regain powers perhaps coulda been cut somehow?
It's pointless, Alice is still very capable during the time without them. Maybe it would make a bit less sense as to why she's not using them at points, but I would have been happier if that stupid sub-plot was missing completely.
Any excuse to remove the terrible T-virus CGI, very insulting to the audience.
Another ugly transition in and out of white (with some colour transition?) when the Osprey crashes with Wesker and Alice on board.
Initially, my biggest problem with Afterlife was the scenes with Alice flying off to find Arcadia.
The monologues are terrible and I still find them to be tiresome here but I guess we need boring exposition...
Almost nothing comes from the whole situation other than Alice finding Claire and introducing the stupid bug-plant plot device.
The scenes don't seem to drag quite as much in Uprising. All I can see in the cut-list is the removal of some fades, it's helped I think.
One thing I noticed is that when Alice is on the beach, right before running off to discover Claire there is a flash of a character (I assume it's Claire) in the foreground, a cheap directorial gimmick that was removed in Biohazard.
Then again not sure how it could have been remedied, perhaps placing a stock sound effect of a scream after cutting early.
Onto the next rip-off -I mean scene-. The misfits holding out in the prison.
Chris is still pointlessly imprisoned unfortunately, can't exactly cut that entire plot device though.
Lots of nice little cuts throughout this setting. With this cut - "Chris telling Alice they can't go back the way they went to the armoury." however, it's now even worse when Alice and Chris just spawn on the rooftop. Not much you can do about that though.
Always thought the rooftop escape was stupid, don't miss it.
Looking down the hole, there is a foreground flash of something /again/. And Luther still says "Ladies" for no reason. He doesn't let the 'ladies' in first, so I guess he's just excusing himself?
Asian man still gets chopped in half too slowly for it be a shock.
Claire kills the axeman, good. Bunch of slow-mo is trimmed, thank god. footage that remains of Claire vs. axeman probably could have been sped back up to normal speed though, help tighten it a bit more and actually be action. Same can be said for most of the Tokyo axeman scenes later with Ada & Alice.
Wesker encounter on Arcadia is gone, words cannot describe the improvement. That scene is an abomination. Besides, the battle atop the ship is about to happen so there is no lack of action at this point.
The crossover between the two films is almost completely unnoticeable and I enjoy what's been done with the Arcadia battle. Having them arrive during the speech is a nice touch. Probably an easier transition to work with than going from Apocalypse to Extinction (Biohazard) though.
Perhaps the dumb looking close-up of Jill while falling could have been cut.
Suburbia sequence, while it's a complete rip-off of Dawn of the Dead, I felt was kinda cool to watch. Maybe it could have been an (eerily realistic) nightmare sequence during the movie crossover (after Alice falls in the water) or something, I don't know.
The part where Ada gives Alice her stuff doesn't make a lot of sense, she gives some stupid excuse as to why she'd want to give away all of her gadgets.
Can't tell if this was the re-added deleted scene or not, can't remember the original.
Alice going after Becky and the licker is a pretty boring and pointless side-adventure. Lickers kill people, they don't kidnap. Besides, those eggs are not at all convincing. If the Ada gadgets scene is cut, then no worries if you cut this whole thing, as Alice uses the grappling hook like a scene out of Batman and Robin.
The reorganising of the simulation scenes is great. I think it works well.
We don't learn that the Moscow zombies are las plagas, which means it might be a bit confusing as to why they're using machine guns, rocket launchers, motorbikes and chainsaws...
Car chase is much better.
The non-evil Michelle Rodriguez is still here, and still pointless as ever. Telling people how she doesn't like guns and then dying not long after. Doubt she's cut-able though.
The fights at the end in the snow are still a bit too drawn out and with a bit too much slow-motion still.
At one point Jill runs away from Alice so that she can get her spear and then runs right back into battle and it's kinda dumb.
The movie could have ended before everyone arrives at the white house, just too cheesy, and if you cut the injection subplot then nothing would be missed here except silly looking CG dragons and the lame-ass line up.
Little bit disappointed that there was no RE1 theme music again. ;)
Poor choice of credits music, I like Bjork, but this song didn't sound the best nor did it fit. The song by Garbage was okay.
Also, Hexes is a decent song and Chino Moreno is god. Do not ever cut Chino Moreno. Ever.
Background music throughout many action scenes, if it's possible to be replaced, would be a big improvement. Most of it is so dull it takes away from the suspense that the movie is attempting to portray.
I liked the edit overall, but feel more could have been done with it, been more aggressive in some areas. Also, the source movies being the worst of the franchise (in my opinion) certainly didn't help.
Thank you and well done Aztek463! I don't think I'll be returning to the theatricals.